What I Thought I Knew

By Alice Eve Cohen ($25; Viking)

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At the start of her memoir, What I Thought I Knew ($25; Viking), Alice Eve Cohen and her fiancé are happily raising the daughter she adopted with her ex-husband. When Cohen, who was told at age 30 she was infertile, starts feeling sick (sore breasts, nausea, reflux), her doctor prescribes estrogen for menopause. Six months later, she isn't feeling any better. Her doctor fears a tumor, and sends Cohen for a CAT scan: She's pregnant.

From here, the book tackles its controversial subject matter with gripping honesty. It's a high-risk pregnancy: She's 44, and was a "DES daughter"--meaning she had in utero exposure to diethylstilbestrol--a profile suggestive of pregnancy complications. Yet unaware that she is pregnant, Cohen takes synthetic hormones for the first six months of gestation. After learning that the child may have ambiguous genitalia, Cohen considers late-term abortion. In fact, Cohen contemplates abortion and/or placing the baby for adoption whenever she remembers that the baby will be born with a special need. Such frankness is alarming. Why is Cohen so willing to discard her baby girl each time a new specter emerges?

I am a mother of two daughters, one adopted from China and a biological daughter, born six months after the adoption. While I hoped, like all parents, that both of my daughters would be healthy, I knew that I would love and raise them the best I could if they were not.

During the nearly two-year waiting period for my adoption, non-adoptive parents asked me whether I was worried about my daughter's health. I wasn't. Call this naiveté or faith in the workings of the Chinese government, but it was never a concern. I still get questions from new acquaintances --"How was she when you met her?" Cohen's memoir reminds me how lucky I am: I was ready to accept my daughters, no matter their medical condition.

The book, at 208 pages, is a quick read and is filled with wit and twists and turns--Cohen, a playwright and solo theater artist, shines as she tells her compelling story. While I chafed at some of Cohen's misgivings, I admired her brave, matter-of-fact style. It was refreshing to read of her transformation--she bonded with and came to love her daughter, who was indeed born with Russell-Silver Syndrome, a growth disorder--a reminder that the greatest relationships are often hard-won.

Reviewed by freelance writer KELLY HARAMIS, who lives in Highland Park, Illinois, with her husband and their two daughters, one of whom was adopted from China.

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