What’s in a Name?For a child who joins his family with his own history, his own culture—his own name—the story’s rarely rooted in the pages of a baby names book. AF readers share how they made the naming decision.by Lisa Milbrand
 All parents want to choose the perfect name for their child. It shouldn’t be too common or too unusual, and it should fit the child’s personality. We debate spellings and nicknames for hours on end.
But when a child comes into your family with his own unique history and culture—and his own name—it can make the debate that much tougher. There are no strict guidelines (See "Naming Your Child: Legal Considerations") for choosing your child’s name, but here’s how other families have handled the decision.
Honoring the past
For many families, preserving a link to the child’s history is the most important factor in the naming decision. “People would ask what we would call the baby we were adopting, and were always surprised when we responded, ‘Whatever name she is given,’” says Holly Montague of Kenai, Alaska. She kept part or all of her three children’s names when she adopted them from Guatemala. “Our children’s names are a connection to their birth family, culture, and country.”
Alexander, Andrei, Ang, Arie, Bebe, Becky, Benjamin, Brogan, Caden, Collin...
Keeping the birth name can be very important to children adopted at an older age, as they have been known by their name for years. “When kids come in to the family past infancy, they don’t like to have their names changed,” says Deborah Gray, a social worker and author of Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents (Perspectives). “It is disconcerting to have so many identity factors change, and also to have their names changed.”
That’s what led Erica Zito to keep her daughter’s birth name. “By the time we finalized our daughter’s adoption, she was two years old,” says the mom of two in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. “Samantha had been her name for two years. It maintained a link to her birth family, and we liked it!” If the child you’re adopting is old enough, the best course may be to ask for his input.
“Parents should talk with their newly adopted child about his name. See if he wants a different first name, or wants to keep it as a middle name,” says Vicki Peterson, director at Wide Horizons for Children in Waltham, Massachusetts. “And let children know that, at a later point, they can change their minds about what name they wish to use.”
Open adoptions allow both birthparents and adoptive parents to weigh in on naming. “We chose our children’s first names, and asked their birthparents to choose their middle names,” says Carolyn Halliburton of Plano, Texas. “We love that their names reflect their birthparents’ love for them.”
Dylan, Ella, Emma, Eve, Grace, Gwen, Jake, Jennifer, Jeremiah, Joshua Kimberly...
Some adoptive parents find that the child’s birth name simply fits him—and their family. “Our child’s birthmother selected Joshua for his first name, and Edward for his middle name, for her deceased father,” says Amy Stipancich of Davidson, North Carolina. “We already had ‘J’ names in our family, so Joshua fit well. We kept his entire birth name as a tribute to his birthmother.”
New family, new identity
Choosing an entirely new name for a child is a way to welcome him into your family and claim him as your own. But many families bypass the baby names books and turn instead to their family trees. “To emphasize the claiming nature of naming, you might choose a name that is significant—a beloved relative or other special person in the family’s life,” says Mary Ann Curran, director of social services at World Association for Children and Parents in Seattle. “That will increase the honor of having that name.”
That’s what Kim Marie Nicols of Needham, Massachusetts, did for her daughters, Parlee and Jenny, named for their great-great-grandparents. “The family connection was important,” she says.
For Sharon Valente of Medina, Ohio, deciding to name her son after his grandfathers was easy—but picking the names was not. “Both of our fathers, my brother, and a nephew are all named John, so we chose our fathers’ middle names, Peter and Angelo.”
Leif, Lily, Linda, Madison, Maya, Maria, Mark, Maxwell, Mia, Nanuk, Naomi, Ningdu...
Allowing siblings to participate in naming the new arrival can encourage a strong bond. “We bought a baby names book, and I made a few suggestions,” says Susan Huston of Claire, Wisconsin. “But it quickly became apparent that our daughter had set her mind on one name. ‘If I get a little brother, we’re going to name him Max!’ she repeatedly told us. This wasn’t a name my husband and I had ever considered, but Emmaleigh obviously knew something we didn’t, because Max is a Max through and through.”
Something old, something new
For the majority of adoptive parents, the answer to the naming challenge is easy: Combine their child’s existing name with a new name. (See more naming trends at "The Name Game.") That’s what adoption experts often recommend. “I advise families never to drop all components of the birth name,” says Curran. “Keep some piece of it, perhaps as a middle name. It sends the message that a child’s past has been honored and accepted by the adoptive family. It also gives the headstrong teen who decides, for example, to become 2000% Asian for six months, a chance to use an Asian name if she wishes.”
Usually, the birth name becomes the middle name, and the parents choose a new first name. “We wanted our daughter’s name to reflect my heritage, her heritage, and my husband’s heritage,” says Holly Massie of North Plainfield, New Jersey, who adopted her daughter from Ethiopia. “Maren, her first name, is a family name. We kept her given name from her birthmother, and her last name (her birthfather’s first name, following Ethiopian tradition) as her middle names. Her full name is a little long, but we felt it was important to keep all of them.”
Nora, Oliver, Olivia, Piper, Rachel, Raven, Rosalie, Shanti, Svetlana, Tatiana, Zoë...
When families decide to change a child’s first name, many choose one that ties to her birth culture. “I found Karina in Baby Names from Around the World,” says Joyce Bouchard of Frederick, Maryland. “It’s Russian, not unusual enough to be burdensome, and my husband and I like that it can be shortened to Kari.”
Some want a single name to symbolize both the birth heritage and their own. “Caeley is Gaelic for ‘brave warrior,’ and our daughter’s heritage is Kekchi Maya, who were never conquered by the Spaniards,” says Susan Ryan of McCall, Idaho.
Others opt to keep their children’s birth names, but with a twist. “We decided to Americanize his Russian name, Andrei, changing it to Andrew,” says Paula Riley, of Cumming, Georgia. “Then we chose a middle name that was a family name, thinking this would make him feel like a Riley and more attached to our family.”
But no matter how much effort goes into the decision, some parents turn in a different direction altogether once they have a face to go with the name. “My husband and I had agreed on a name, but when we saw our son’s referral picture, we decided the name just didn’t fit,” says Alexandra Lopez, a mom in Germantown, Maryland. “With my son’s photo in mind, I found the name Benjamin. He really looks like a Benjamin.”
Comment on this article and tell us your family's naming story! Share your story.
Lisa Milbrand is a freelance writer and editor. She lives with her family in Bloomfield, New Jersey.
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Naming Your Child:
Legal Considerations
Domestic...
Denise Seidelman, an adoption attorney in Westchester, New York, sees two common situations in domestic adoptions:
1. A birthmother names the child, and that name appears on the birth certificate. In some cases, the birthmother and adoptive parents-to-be agree on the child’s name by the time of birth.
2. A birthmother does not name the child, in which case the birth certificate says “Baby Girl” or “Baby Boy.” The adoption petition refers to the child as such.
The judge’s adoption decree will include a change to the name chosen by the adoptive parents (“and the child shall henceforth be known as…”).
Until finalization, domestic adopters can’t get passports or Social Security numbers in their child’s name. After finalization, the original birth certificate is amended to reflect the child’s new legal name.
International...
Peter Wiernicki, an adoption attorney in Washington, D.C., says that foreign adoption decrees usually include a legal name change. Two issues that may arise:
1. The child’s English name may be misspelled on the adoption decree and/or the alien registration card. Adopting parents should check the spelling of their child’s name on all documents.
2. In Latin-American countries, courts may identify the child with the adoptive mother’s, rather than the adoptive father’s, last name, in keeping with local custom.
In a case of incorrect or inconsistent spelling or incorrect last name, parents can petition the court in their state for a name change and may correct the child’s name as part of a U.S. readoption proceeding.
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The Name Game
Last year, Jacob, Michael, Emily, and Emma headed the list of most popular baby names, but in the adoption community, top choices tend to be a little different. Here, AF readers discuss two trends they’ve noticed.
“Oh, my gosh, it seems that every other boy I meet who was adopted from Kazakhstan has Alexander either as a first or a middle name—my son included. It’s not a surprise, as Alexander (nickname: Sasha) is a common Russian name. I like that my son’s name reflects his birth culture, and I love the sound of ‘Alexander.’ I just wish so many other people hadn’t made the same choice!”
—Jenn Keohane, Oakland, California
“I first thought that I would name my Guatemalan daughter Maya, but I was hesitant because there are so many little Guatemalan girls in the U.S. named Maya. As it turned out, my daughter was not the infant I was expecting, but a toddler. Her birthmother named her Madeline Araceli, and I could not think of a more fitting or beautiful name.”
—Melissa Turi, Shorewood, Illinois
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Comments
Our son's name is Andres Eduardo, a combination of names we chose because we loved them and because they reflect and honor our Hispanic heritage. The name Andres was chosen because we loved the sound of it. The name Eduardo was chosen in honor of his father, as it is his father's second middle name. As it turns out, Eduardo was also our son's middle name when he was born!!
Posted by: Maria Eugenia at 8:41am Jul 3
With both of our daughters, adopted as infants, we changed their first name to reflect their personalities and to be something we both agreed on as parents. We kept a piece of their birth family as well incorporating that name as their middle name.
Posted by: paula schuck at 1:50pm Jul 3
My husband Jim and I chose a combination of our names for the name of our daughter. Jillisa. Ji after Jim and LLisa after Lisa. We could not give her our genes but her name could be the creation of us!
Posted by: Lisa Daly at 3:24pm Jul 3
My husband picked out the name for a boy (Connor James) & I for a girl (Jillian Marie). However, when we received the picture of our soon to be son I felt the name did not fit him perfect due to his mixed heritage. So after 2 days of searching & contemplating we decided on Connor Jadon meaning Wise Aid/He Has Heard. Now the name fits him perfectly & my husband still gets to have his dream name for his son.
Posted by: LB Houff at 5:09pm Jul 3
We wanted him to have a name that was connected to our family so he would feel completely a part of it. We also wanted to honor his birthmother's choice of a name for him. So we named him William, after his father. We kept the middle name given to him by his birthmom, Daniel.
Posted by: Julie Shuell at 6:48am Jul 4
I adopted my daughter, Yenenesh, from an orphanage in Ethiopia when she was 3 years old. I kept her name because her name was all she had left from her birthfamily and native country. I searched for the meaning of her name on the internet and discovered it means 'you are mine'. It fit so well, and it honors both of her mothers.
Posted by: Kathy Montano at 9:30am Jul 4
We named our 1st daughter Mei Li which means beautiful in Chinese. We kept her given name Quan as her middle name. The Character for Mei is the first part of Mei Guo meaning beautiful land= America. For our 2nd daughter her given name was Ying and the character meant bright. I kept the same name Ying, but changed the Chinese character to the character for Hero- it is also the first character in the word Ying Wen= English. So their 2 names are Chinese names with the meanings tied to America and English.
Posted by: Cheryl at 2:03pm Jul 5
Two years ago my husband had the privilege of returning to his country of birth, Myanmar. We fell in love with the beautiful city of Mandalay and thought it would be the perfect name for our soon to be daughter from China. A year later we got our daughter and we were right, this beautiful name was the perfect fit for our BEAUTIFUL daughter!
Posted by: Tracy Aung at 5:57pm Jul 6
My oldest son is our biological child. His name "Cody Jerome" was to honor my husband's grandfather a cowboy (Cody) and my father who was born in Jerome, Arizona. Our second son (adopted) "Robert Josef Samuel" was to honor my father Robert, Josef my Slovenian grandfather and Samuel my husband's greatgrandfather a half Cherokee who obtained a medical degree in the 1800's long before it was accepted for NA to go to college. My youngest son (adopted) "Gabriel Brian" was for me Gail and my husband Brian. I loved the name Gabrielle but I knew we would just never have a girl. I just wanted one child to have that angelic name. The two youngest are biological siblings...their birthparents asked us to give them their names and they loved what we came up with as the birthfather had an uncle Robert and they loved the angelic name Gabriel as their sister is named Angelic
Posted by: Gail at 9:28am Jul 7
During the early stages of my adoption journey I heard that babies in Russian orphanages were often named by their caretakers. Consequently, I decided that, if known, I would give my daughter her birthmother's first name as her middle name. I felt that this would both honor my daughter's birthmother and create a greater connection between my daughter and her birthmother. My daughter's birthmother's name is more Russian than the name given to her by her birthmother, and thus more special as well.
Posted by: Barbara Lovitts at 7:51pm Jul 9
We chose to keep the first name our daughter was given in Russia. We also kept the "literal" spelling, Aleksandra. We call her by her middle name, Wren. We did not intend this, but several friends thought we chose the name Wren because it is a combination of our nicknames, Rick and Jen. Wren is our little bird who flew home with us.
Posted by: Jennifer at 5:49pm Jul 11
We had a couple names picked out for our daughter before we met her and wanted to know her Russian name first. Her name given by the baby house was Maria and being from Texas that was just too common but makes a great middle name. Our choices were Charlotte and Paige so when we met her we felt we've known her from birth and Paige Maria was adopted into our family. The names fit beautifully together. Charlotte seemed too big a name for the sweet little girl we met and love as our own.
Posted by: Sheila at 8:40am Jul 12
My daughter's birth name was Alexandra and my name is Sandra. I thought that was a perfect fit and did not consider changing it. She is quite proud that our names have the same origin! She likes being named after me and being named after past Russian royalty!
Posted by: Sandra at 10:26am Jul 12
When I didn't know I would never be able to have my own biological child, I was given a prophecy that Mary, the mother of Jesus, interceded on my behalf to have a little girl. I was to name her "AnaMarie Therese". When I was told I was infertile, and after much prayer, my husband and I decided to adopt. We were open to a girl or boy but God gave us the baby girl that was prophecied. We named her what God had requested. She is the blessing of our lives!
Posted by: Terelyn at 11:46am Jul 12
After finding out that we had been chosen by the birthparents to parent their child, we threw names around for a few days, but nothing seemed to jump out at us. We didn't just want it to sound good and not have any weird nicknames, but we wanted it to have real meaning. After years of infertility, this baby was the answer to many prayers. Driving in the car one day, my husband blurted out the name Sonora, and I immediately loved the sound of it. We looked up the meaning, which is a "long-awaited surprise rainstorm in the desert" that farmers wait and pray for to nourish their thirsty crops. THIS WAS IT! How appropriate that we, too, waited and prayed for this delightful "rain" that nourished our thirsty hearts. And that's exactly what's she has been - a pure delight - Sonora!
Posted by: Heather at 11:50am Jul 12
When my husband and I were going through the adoption process, we had left our gender preferences open so that allowed us to consider both boys and girls names. We decided we both wanted something a little different, but not too strange (our child WOULD have to go to school and get a job one day!). We decided on a unisex name: Quinn for a boy and Quynn for a girl. When we found out we would be parents to a baby girl, we began in earnest to think of an appropriate middle name. Since our daughter was adopted and I admire the great humanitarian & adoption work of Angelina Jolie, we decided on Jolie as our little girl's second moniker. Just before our birthmother gave birth to our girl, she asked us if we would mind adding the name she had chosen for her - how could we say NO?! This woman was giving us an unbelievable gift - a name was the least we could offer in return. Add that to the name that my husband wanted to make sure she had (his mother's maiden name to carry on the tradition) and our girl is LOADED with name options! But, we think she's strong enough to hold them all. We welcomed Quynn Jolie Malerie Hays to our family on 08/31/06 and her names fit her just right!
Posted by: Lisa at 2:38pm Jul 12
Our daughter's name is Lacey Joyce Mayhew. Lacey was my husband's Great Grandmothers name and Joyce is my Grandmothers name.
Posted by: Cheryl Mayhew at 4:57am Jul 13
Our 3rd adoption was a 6 month old baby girl. Our oldest and only birthson, 2 years before she came to us, wanted to name her Lillie. We all loved the name and once she came home we knew Lillie was just the right name for her. 18 months later at finalization we received many papers concerning our daughter and her history. In those papers we found out that her birth mother's name was Lillie! That made the name extra special. So, she is now officially, Lillie Rose Louise.
Posted by: Mary at 11:33am Jul 13
My husband and I spent hours discussing names and choosing a name for our first child. This helped pass the time while waiting for his arrival. We named our son Porter James Han Hermon. We wanted to keep his Korean heritage alive in his name, while at the same time welcoming him into our family. We both fell in love with the name Porter,meaning decisive. This was fititng because from the start we were both 100% SURE about adoption and we both were 100% sure about the name selection.
Posted by: Heather and James Hermon at 6:16pm Jul 13
Naming: When we adopted our first daughter from China, she already 2.5 years old. we kept her given name,altering only the first letter from Q to S - naming her Singshan. Her 2 middle names were in honour of her 2 grandmothers. When we adopted her younger sister we slightly altered her given name, as we felt she would be teased if we kept "Dong" so we used Donn and added sh from her devoted caregiver to Ai [knowing love] and had Donnshai, her 2nd name was in honour of their 3rd gradnmother, the birthmother of their adoptive mother and her 3rd name was in honour of a close friend and mentor. both girls can explain the history of their names including their original names in China and carry a lot of pride in this!
Posted by: Jane Blannin at 7:05pm Jul 13
Our daughters name was chosen by both her birthmother and us. She very kindly requested that the baby's first name start with a J, the same as my husband and mine. I knew it was meant to be when she called me and said, “What do you think about the name Jada or Jayden?” It was the exact two names my husband and I had picked. A few months later a beautiful baby girl "Jada Georgette" was born! Her middle name is after my husband’s mother.
Posted by: Jodi at 9:39pm Jul 13
My son is adopted from Guatamala and my husband is of Hispanic origin so we knew we wanted a Hispanic name. We also knew we wanted a name that could be easily pronounced by non-Spanish speaking people. We wanted to wait until we saw the first photo of our baby, and once we had that it was easy. We named him Tomas Salvador---after a favorite Uncle Tom of mine and Salvador after his paternal grandfather and uncle.
Posted by: Betty at 9:17am Jul 16
We knew our two boys as Pavel and Nikita since receiving our referral and talked about them with those names throughout the adoption process. It was during our first trip to Russia that we also learned that Pavel responded to "Pasha", a common nickname in the country. When the adoption was in the final stages it seemed odd for us to refer to them as anything but Pasha and Nikita, that's just who they are. We gave them family names as middle names, one from my side and one from my husbands side. We always thought we'd shorten Nikita to Nick or Nicky in conversation but it just never comes out that way. We love that they will always have that link to their past as well as the uniqueness of their names.
Posted by: Christina at 12:46pm Jul 16
Our daughter's birth mother shared in her naming. My husband and I asked her to select a family name for the baby's middle name ... we shared a few girl name choices and together we shared the naming of our daughter -- Allyson Rose. Allyson coming from Alice meaning gift of light! and she is! Our daughter shares the name Rose with her birth mother and birth great grandmother.
Posted by: Lisa at 3:32pm Jul 16
We are currently in the process of adopting our daughter. We are changing her birth name to Journee Rose for she has been on a journey and will continue to have an awesome Journee. Added ee to make it alittle more girly. Rose is my mom's name.
Posted by: April at 7:38pm Jul 18
Our oldest was my birth child. I named her Lilianne Marym to honor my maternal grandmother and her North African heritage. Everyone calls her Lili. Our son was a month old when his birth parents decided to choose adoption. He was already named Dominic Rene. Dominic was chosen by his birthmom and Rene is the middle name of his birthfather and his maternal birth- grandmother. We added my husband's name at finalization, so he became Dominic David Rene. I chose our younger daughter's first name, Alyssa, because I've always loved it. I was going to give her Genevieve (my paternal grandmother's middle name) as her middle name; but while in labor, her birthmother asked if we could give her the name Angeline. It begins with An like the names of her birthmother and birthsister. I loved it immediately, so she became Alyssa Angeline. I love that my children all have names that honor their origins and that were carefully chosen by (all) of their parents. Since our adoptions are open, it's only right that things turned out that way.
Posted by: Laurie at 11:17pm Jul 18
My son was born in the country of Georgia and was adopted at the age of only 2.5 months. His birth name is Giorgi. That was the name his biological mother had put on his birth certificate. When was placed in foster care, from the time of his birth till he was adopted, his foster mother called him Xandro (short for Alexander presumably) I have a nephew named Alexander, so I didn't want to keep that name. I had wanted to keep his birth name as his middle name originally. Instead I chose to name him Nicholas Matthew Livingstone. Nicholas being the last Tsar of Imperial Russia. Matthew is my maternal grandfather and great grandfathers name, both of whom were pure blooded Russian Ukrainians. In fact my great grandfather was born in what is now the Ukraine. For being so young at the time of his adoption, he adapted extremely well from his name as Xandro in foster care to his name now as Nicholas. Once he's able to understand, he will be told about his name and what it use to be.
Posted by: Suzanne at 7:56am Jul 20
Our daughter was born while we were on vacation. Knowing that we had an 8 hour drive to get to the hospital where she was born, we stopped at a bookstore to pick up a book with baby names. We had previously discussed names, but couldn't agree on anything. We started at the beginning of the book and midway through, my husband said, "What about Phoebe?" We looked at each other and knew it was the right name. Alas, that was only the beginning of our dilemma. Knowing that I wanted to use my maiden name as a middle name, I realized that her initials would be PPS. My father is known as Pops to all of his grandchildren. I was determined to find a name to precede Port (my maiden name) so that her initials would spell POPS, which would be a tribute to my dad. We searched for names beginning with "O" and nothing seemed to click. I called my sister-in-law, whose husband is Israeli, knowing that many Hebrew names begin with the vowel "O". She pulled out her Hebrew baby name book and began reading names to us. When she got to Orit (we pronounce it Oh-reet, although I'm not sure that that's correct!), I asked her what it meant. She told us that it means light. We knew right away that that was the perfect name. The name Phoebe means brilliant, shining. What could be a more fitting name for our ray of sunshine than Phoebe Orit -- our brilliant shining light!
Posted by: Sue at 8:12am Jul 20
When searching for a name to "fit" our newly adopted daughter, I started searching through baby name books, beginning at the As. I found Alegria, "a charming choice for a much-wanted child". The birthmother had given our daughter a first name of Jasmine, a flower, and our last name is Desjardins, French for "of the garden". When we put all three names together it literally means "most wanted flower in the garden." We loved it! In Jasmine's garden themed bedroom I have painted "...you will always be the most wanted flower in the garden" for her to always know how much she is loved.
Posted by: Sara at 11:10am Jul 23
We decided to have an open adoption with our son. The day we met his birthparents we came with a list of a couple of names and they had a list with a couple of names and Triston was on both of our lists. We knew then that was the name he should have since it was a bit unique and we both had it. We agreed on the middle name, Chase, in the hospital.. Triston Chase.
Posted by: Connie Fairchild at 8:21am Jul 24
Foster parents of a special needs girl named "Mandy Ann" by her birthmother; we went through some pretty rough struggles to keep our little angel. A name planned for years, Cecilia did not suit her. One night I dreampt about how our faith rose to meet every challenge and how much my sister had helped us through all of it. When I awoke in the morning the name FaithRose Coleen came to me and in honor of our faith, my sister and my husband's grandmother (first generation from Poland) Rose.
Posted by: Laura at 8:29am Jul 24
Our daughter was adopted from China. Her given name in China was Yu Min Jie. We named her Mya Alexis MinJie Jones because we like Mya and Alexis and we combined her given name in China to add to her middle. We always new that we would keep part of her Chinese name as a connection to her birth country and culture.
Posted by: Laura at 8:57am Jul 24
We did not change the childrens names because God had them already for us. We adopted our children as a sibling group of 3. The oldest was 6 and her name had a unique twist that she liked and we did as well. The middle child has the same middle name as my sister, mother and a few aunts so it fit in too. And my son came with the same middle name as me and it was even spelled the same. Problem solved.
Posted by: Russ at 9:15am Jul 24
Our son is from India. His first name is actually two Indian names combined, but that's what it was so that is what it remains: Vijaykumar, which means "Victorious Son." My husband and I chose a Christian middle name--Christopher, which means "for Christ." He also has my last name, Weber, after my father who died and because Vijay is the only child on my side of the family to carry on my last name in any fashion. Kennedy is my husband's last name. Vijaykumar Christopher Weber Kennedy is our Victorious Son for Christ. We recognize India, God, and both of our families. He is such an incredible child, we knew everyone deserved credit--and that is what we tell him.
Posted by: Caroline Kennedy at 9:17am Jul 24
We adopted our son when he was 6. He was having some issues about losing his last name, so we simply kept his full name and added our last name. He now has two middle names and it simply solved what was an issue for him and since his older brother has two middle names, it also helped him feel like he belonged.
Posted by: Anita Clark at 9:44am Jul 24
Our adopted children are from foster care and were ages 3, 4, and 6 when they joined us. We have only changed there middle names. THe oldest thought her middle name was soemthing other than what is on her birth certificate so we just went with it. The only boy wanted to chang his name to Superman! When we vetoed that he picked Dash (from the Incredibles). His middle name is now Daschel. We changed the youngest ones middle name from Laren to Lauren. Our bio children were given family names and one that my husband just really liked. While it would have benn nice to completely name the younger children, they brought so little from their bio family, and their names are who they are.
Posted by: Lorrie at 12:05pm Jul 24
Our daughter came through our local foster care system with a full name. A first name, middle name and last name. The case workers tried to keep the last name a "secret" since the biological mother was in the same county as us. But when our daughter was placed with us they had to tell us. Since our daughter came to us at just one month old we could change her name to whatever we wanted. When we finally got to see her in person we knew we were going to keep her given name. She is an Alana. We changed her middle name. The new middle name is the same middle name of my mother and my husband's mother. And of course she now has our last name.
Posted by: Tami at 6:59pm Jul 24
My husband and I had chosen the name Malachi for our son long before we even thought about adoption. We did not know that a birthmother had picked us until after our son was born because his mother had gone into preterm labor. The agency called to tell us about his birth and I asked if the birthmother had already named him. They said she had named him Malachi! We had never met before he was born and she did not know our plans for his name, so we knew that Malachi was to be our son.
Posted by: Susan at 12:12pm Jul 27
My husband and I are Caucasian. Our daughter, whom we named Grace, is African American. Our son, whom we named Jeffrey, is African American, Hispanic and Caucasian. We chose family names to symbolize that they are our children in every way, our family is their family, our heritage is theirs. We want them to be proud as individuals and proud as part of our family.
Posted by: Michelle Hogue at 11:51am Jul 31
We have adopted 3 children and are hoping to complete the 4th at the end of this year. Our oldest child was 21 months, when he was placed with us. We simply changed his middle name to William, my husbands' grandfather's name. Our 2nd daughter was a newborn and we chose "Annika" it is Swedish for angel, and she remains so today. "Grayson Thomas" our 3rd was "Junior" ugh... he loves his name and he is as unique as it. Our 4th child was named Elizabeth. We plan on changing it to "Eliza Ivy", after our grandmothers. Children love knowing why their names were chosen and we feel privleged to be able to share our stories with them.
Posted by: Shawn at 11:10pm Jul 31
We had agonized for months while waiting for our referral trying to agree on both a girl's name and a boy's name since we hadn't specified a gender. We received our referral for a three year old girl who had been abandoned in Moscow City. When the police asked her name she told them Dasha. The baby house named her Darya (as Dasha is usually a nickname for Darya)and then used the district and street names as her middle and last names. We decided to keep Darya because we thought it was pretty and would still work with our Irish last name, but we used Elizabeth, my grandmother's middle name, as her middle name. Once we met her we realized that her nickname Dasha was the only thing that was truly hers and that it really fit her. I think it helped with her transition into our family that we kept her nickname and she'll always have a reminder of her Russian heritage.
Posted by: Laura at 10:56pm Aug 4
When our first daughter was referred to us, she had a difficult to pronounce name that may cause her frustration. The name is Xiao Man. Many of our friends with children from China, used their Chinese names as middle names. We, instead chose to find out the English translation of our daughter's name which is "dawn." We chose to name her Abigail Dawn, which gave her a connection, without the pronunciation challenges. Our second daughter was Chang Shan, which means "coral" so her name is Rebecca Coral. When we adopted a son from India, with the name Narayan, which means protector, we chose to keep his Indian name as a middle name, so he is Anthony Narayan. We have enjoyed using these translations in the creation of our children's names!
Posted by: penny at 8:30pm Aug 5
I'm a single mom & adopted my daughter from Guatemala as an infant. But unlike most other adopted children from that country, the birth mother did NOT name my child at all, so my two female Guatemalan attorneys assigned their first names to my child's paperwork, to serve as first and middle names. Consequently, I felt no obligation to keep those names since this was not a case of "honoring" the birth mother. As I began thinking up names, I soon decided that I wanted her first name to reflect her Hispanic heritage, but one that would be easily pronounceable by non-Spanish speakers. One day the name of a Brazilian actress/singer from the 40s & 50s, that I liked as a child, popped into my head: CARMEN MIRANDA. So I chose only the last name "Miranda" for my daughter's first name. And since my last name can be either Spanish or Italian (in my case, Italian), her entire name appears to be Hispanic. For her middle name, I originally chose my sister's first name, which I put on the birth announcement in order to honor my sister, as well as to link my daughter to a close family member. But in the 3 full years since the adoption, my sister has shown no interest in getting close to this child at all, so I decided NOT to add the middle name to her official readoption papers. Thus, she will have only two names, just as I do. Later on, when she sees the middle name on the announcement, I will simply explain that since my sister's first name can be either female or male, that I ultimately decided not to include it, and that if she wishes to use it when she's older, she can do so. I will give her the example of my own name, whereby my parents thought they gave me "Ann" as a middle name, but when I turned 16 & applied for my driver's license, we discovered that no middle name had ever been entered on my birth certificate, so legally I had no middle name, yet I have continued to use it from time to time, such as on my high school and college diplomas.
Posted by: Vita at 1:29am Aug 7
We adopted 4 biological siblings in 2005 and when they came to us they had "unique" names. Keeping with the names that the birth-family had given to them, we used a derivative of their birth names. We are currently expecting the birth of their fifth birth-sibling in late December 2007.
Posted by: Donna Gray at 3:30pm Aug 15
My husband and I are good friends with a foster mother here in Utah. She had a beautiful bi-racial girl(half black, half white) named Mckenzie. At the time she was two years old and my husband and I became so attached to her. We went through the adoption process and named her Katelyn Marie. Katelyn after my aunt, Marie after my best friend. Five years later, I met another bi-racial (half black, half white) child through the same foster home but this time it was a boy. He won my heart just like Valerie won mine. His name was Daniel. My husband and I adopted him and re-named him Christopher James. Christopher after my husbands best friend, James after his brother. Katelyn is now ten and Christopher is now five. My family is complete and I thank God for bringing them into my life.
Posted by: Valerie Simmons at 10:02am Aug 17
Error **** Katelyn won mine
Posted by: Valerie Simmons at 12:53pm Aug 18
We named both of our daughters after their orphanages in China. Baylea is from Beihei, and Shailyn is from Shao Yang. We kept their given Chinese names as their middle names.
Posted by: Stacy Wilk at 1:54pm Aug 29
When we met our new daughter in China she was almost 9 years old. We loved the name she was given in the orphanage though we knew she wasn't born with it. Her first and middle names (Jin Lan) meant Beautiful Brocade/embrodery. Fitting for such a beautiful child. We did not want to overwhelm her with a new name so we decided on Alana which would incorporate the name we felt she most identified with and put the two chinese names together for a middle name. She accepted it very well. Everyone agrees Alana suits her well.
Posted by: Cheryl Clement at 6:20pm Aug 29
I adopted my son from Russia and had thought I might keep his birth name as a middle name, but he just didn't look like an Evegeni to me,(Eugene in English). Also at the baby home they called him Zhenya which is a nickname. I changed his name to David James; David after my favorite cousin and James for my great grandfather who immigrated from the Isle of Man. Even at 18 months at time of adoption he had no problems adapting to his new name.
Posted by: Dana at 6:44pm Aug 29
Our daughter was adopted from S. Korea at 5 months of age. We decided not to select any name until we received a referral and found out what her Korean name. We choose an American first name to complement her Korean name. Her name is Emma Soo-Min. We call her Emma Soo most of the time.
Posted by: Julie at 7:29pm Aug 29
I named my son Khari Malcolm. Khari means kingly in Swahili. I wanted him to have a name with meaning and he is my little king. We also share the same initials...KMJ. I will share the name his birthmother named him when he is older.
Posted by: Kettisha at 7:59pm Aug 29
My mother in law passed just after our wedding engagement in 1999. We knew that our first child would have a name in honor of her by using the first letter of her name, an L. We went back and forth on names, but one that meant the world to me, was Liesl, pronounced "Leezul". My favorite movie growing up and still to this day is the Sound of Music, Liesl is the name of one of the Van Trapp children. When our little girl's birthmother, chose us to be her parents, I knew that the name was perfect. You see, her middle name is Elizabeth, and Liesl is a form of Elizabeth. So we are honoring two great women, while also giving our little girl a unique name with thoughtful meaning behind it.
Posted by: Carla at 4:02am Aug 30
Our privately adopted newborn Daughter was named by her birth mother, Olivia Ellen. Ellen being her birth granmother's middle name that had passed away. After bringing her home it seemed strange to change someone's name...until I read this article. Then my husband and I decided on a name that was part of her given name and one that also represented our family. We choose Ellen Noel. Ellen, from her birth family, was moved from the middle to the first position and the middle name we choose is from our family. Now she has the best of both worlds....We call her Ellie (which is more modern then Ellen) Thank you AF for helping us through that decision.
Posted by: Michelle at 4:51am Aug 30
Before I even got my daughter's referral, I started looking at names. I ran across the name "Eliana" in a book of international baby names and thought it just beautiful. When I did an Internet search on this name, I discovered it means "God's answer" or "God has answered me." After that, there was no question! I added "Joy" as her middle name, because it describes His answer perfectly! The only other change was to add a seond "L" to Elliana, to make it more pronuncible. In the end, My daughter was born in Russia, has a Hebrew name, and we are Christians! Best of all, she knows she is God's answer to my prayer for a little girl!
Posted by: PJ at 6:02am Aug 30
Our daughter joined our family in 2004 form China. We really wanted her name to reflect her Chinese heritage as well as her new Amerian home. After looking at many a Chinese names and their meanings we decided on Xia, which means "rose glow at dawn and dusk or dawning of a new day". To Americanise it we named her Xiara(pronounced see-ara). We celebrate her name every time we see the the beautiful pink sky at sunrise or sunset when our daughter points upward and says "hey look at the sky it's Xia".
Posted by: Robyn at 8:57am Aug 30
My 1st daughter is Mei Li Quan. Mei Li is Chinese for Beautiful. Quan is her given name from China. The Mei part of her name is also the Mei in Mei Guo which means America. Our 2nd daughter's name was Ying meaning glowing light. I kept the name but chose to use different Chinese character for Ying which means hero. Ying is the first part of Ying Wen which is English (language). So It hink we tied in their Chinese names with America well.
Posted by: Cheryl at 9:48am Aug 30
I have two children who were adopted nearly three years apart from the foster care system and are not bio siblings. My oldest daughter was named Ronnet after her bio father Ron. At the age of 11, when she was adopted, it would have been difficult to give up her name though I felt it was too simple and would limit her later in life when seeking a job or other opportunities. Together with my biological daughter Mariah, an only child prior, and Ronnet we searched and prayed for a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. We decided on Memari (pronounced Memory), this was to honor her past, present and future, to encourage her to embrace her past memories both good and bad and acknowledge that her experiences have influenced the person she is and to anticipate creating future memories that would help guide who she will become. I added Memari as her first name but she is still known as Ronnet to family and close friends. Mariah and Memari are very similar in spelling and sound and the name change gave the girls and instant connection. My second adopted child had a beautiful name Nathias Shakur, I loved it but felt as if I had a right to give my adopted children the special gift of a new first name along with my last name. After serious soul searching I decided on Chance. My son was severely abused and neglected in his biological home. The name Chance represents to me the resilience and opportunity for excellence this child possess. Also he is a strong, smart, wonderful child and I will always be grateful to God and to him for the "Chance" to be his mother.
Posted by: Aesha Shabazz-Lake at 10:30am Aug 30
My husband and I had tried to have children for almost ten years of our marriage with no success. We finally learned that there were no answers to our infertility. We started to pray and ask for guidance, asking God to give us discernment on having a family and one day God revealed ADOPTION! We started the process of adoption in China, then that door closed because of SARS, then another door opened in Brazil through our church Nazarene Missionaries and several other doors kept opening and closing until one day we got the call about our son........ Our son was born in Florida, October 2005. We had already chosen his name before we even knew about him, however; we felt very confident in his name when we first held him at 2 hours old....David Elijah. He was 5 weeks early and before he was born he was "BELOVED" because he was not supposed to be born. David meaning "Beloved" and Elijah meaning "The Lord is my God". We knew without doubt that his was a gift from God, and we both feel that the Lord has a special plan for Elijah's life...maybe one day it will be revealed to us. We have been blessed to adopt twice, actually twice in 1 year and 3 weeks. In August 2006, we recieved a call regarding our soon to be daughter. Our daughter was born in Georgia, October 2006. We had not planned on adopting again this soon, but God definitly had other plans for us. We at first couldn't agree on a name, but than we learned of her Messianic Judiasm hertiage and we definitly wanted to give her a strong hebrew name. We did have Nicole chosen already but we wanted a Hebrew name to go with it...little did we know that her birthmothers middle name was nicole. While I was sitting in church service before she was born, I felt an overwhelming need to add the name Hannah. When I looked up the meaning and learned it was hebrew, I knew I wanted to use that name, but when we learned that the name Grace was one of the chooses by her birthmother we knew 100% to use Hannah ( means GRACE ). Than I had heard the name Melina on tv, but started looking up meanings and spellings and decided to use MALINA...it is hebrew and meaning strength. We decided on Malina Hannah Nicole.....Malina means "From the tower---Strength", Hannah means "Grace", and Nicole means "Victorious among the people". And she has definitly lived up to the strong name that she has. We are very blessed to have two of the most perfect children in the world, but of course I am bias. Believe this or not, but Elijah looks like my husband and Malina looks like me...Definitly a God thing!!! Thank you for allowing me to share our story....truly a blessing to give hope and encouragement to others.
Posted by: Heather J at 1:12pm Aug 30
My husband and I met our son in Ukraine at 15mo of age. We said Yes to adopting this child and they needed a name to start the paper work. We had no idea we would be adopting a child so young and had no name picked out. We just assumed we would Americanize his given name. We were taken to an internet cafe and given one hour to search baby names on line and pick a name. We kept his given name as his middle (Kiril - sounds like cereal with a K)and chose Darian as his first. It was the first name we saw on babynames.com and we spent the whole hour trying to figure out why it would not work. His name fits him perfectly. Our Son, Darian Kiril M. will be 5 years old Dec of 07'. He is a wonderful child! Daily we are thankful we have him as our son.
Posted by: Sherri J M. at 8:55am Nov 15
Our son's birth name was Igor Nikolayavich. There was no way we could keep Igor in the US. So we took his middle name and shortened it to Nikoli. It fits him perfectly.
Posted by: Deb at 8:04am Jan 22
We chose to keep the middle name our daughter was given by her birthmom in Colombia, Natalia, as her first name (adopted at 19 months of age). Natalia is also the name of one of the daughters of her foster mom, Nancy. We added Alejandra as middle name, which is my middle name too and is, also, a family name (Natalia Alejandra) Her original first name, Jennifer, just didn't suit her or her new last name, Estrada. Our oldest is our birth child, and we named him Sebastian Gabriel. He also shares his middle name with my husband (Esteban Gabriel). Gabriel is a very common name in my husband's family, so they were named in honor to their beloved gran (great)father (from my MIL side).
Posted by: Monica Gonzalez at 9:26am Jan 22
Responding to Deb, coincidentally our son's original name is also Igor Nikolayevich. We changed the middle name to Michael, but as it so happens Igor is also my husband's brother's name. Only after we came back from Russia did we hear about the strange connotations about Igor, HOWEVER, I asked around our 'younger' generation of teens who have never seen such idiotic movies as 'young frankenstein' and who simply associate Igor with the musician, Stravinski. There is also "Prince Igor" by Borodin... I specifically gave him a 'plain jane' middle name so he could use it later, but I believe it is only the 'old ones' like us, the parents, who have a hard time with it, don't you think?
Posted by: Gisele at 9:43am Jan 22
My answer to the survey has to be "none of the above". We adopted from foster care. While their names are not what we would have chosen, once we got to know our children, that's just who they were. We did change their middle names, all for different reasons: we changed the oldest's to what she had always thought her middle name was; the 5 year old had requested a different name and we used it as his new middle name; and we only changed the spelling of the youngest's to something that made more sense and that also tied it to mine.
Posted by: Lorrie at 11:33am Jan 22
Our daughter was born early, and was not placed with us until she was 3 1/2 weeks old. (Domestic) We did meet her birth mother, and we discussed changing her name, as she told us she named her quickly, as she needed to in the hospital. We had already known that our first child would be named with an L name in honor of my deceased mother in law, Lucille. My favorite movie, The Sound Of Music, drew me to the name Liesl. It was not until after my research that I found out that Liesl is a derivitive of Elizabeth, the name her birthmother chose as her middle name originally. We feel with the birth mothers blessing, and the little connection in the two names, that we made the right decision.
Posted by: Carla at 4:29am Jan 23
Foster adopt. We knew we wanted to rename our girls. The twins (only 1 1/2) were in a spanish speaking home. It was easy to integrate their new english first names with their existing names for the middle. The 3 year old however, threw us for a loop. We picked a closely matching name to her birth name in hopes to blend the two together at finalization. Then several months before the adoption - she choose an entirely new name for herself. Do we let a three year old choose her own name? This child came from a place of neglect and suffered through four homes (in her three years) before coming to us. YES, this is something we could give her that was all her doing, a sense of control was something she needed. Everytime we say her name, we are accepting her for who she wants to be. http://www.adoptive-parenting.com/growing-up-adopted-2.html
Posted by: Julie mommyof4girls at 10:59pm Jun 3
My husband and I are in the process of adopting our 5 year old foster child. Her given name is Alyssa which I like very much. Just for the heck of it, I asked her what her name would be once she was adopted. Thinking she would say Alyssa Banze, she threw me for a loop when she said "I think that I would like my name to be Hannah Montanna Banze!"
Posted by: Nancy Banze at 12:47pm Jul 17
We did not originally intend to change her Name. She was eleven almost twelve. Our agency insisted that it would be the proper thing to do. The Judge in Belarus expected it. We kept her first name, Galina,after her Aunt, changed Mikailovna her patrinome, to Marie, (my sister's name was Mary), thereby keeping the M. We did give her our last Name. She loves it. We also had the option to change her date of birth but felt that it could cause complications. Besides, her birth day was one day after the court decision. And yes it is a big deal and they are celebrated together.
Posted by: Jim Ryland at 7:56am Sep 3
Our daughter was already known to us by her birth name, Hailey. After months of debate, we decide that it was important to keep her first name but we did alter the spelling. Hailey, an english name meaning 'a field of hay' was changed to Haley, a scandinavian name meaning 'brave'. We also incorporated a new family tradition my sister started with the birth of her first child by sharing my middle name with her, Nicole. A balance of acknowledging her 'as is' and marrying a family tradition was a wonderful piece of the puzzle that we can share together in years to come.
Posted by: Nicole at 8:38am Sep 3
We adopted our infant son from Guatemala, who was already named Allan. Which did not suit his personality. We had a name picked out for a boy which reflects our family history, Dawson (which is my father's mothers maiden name) and Reed for a middle name (my mother's maiden name). Everyone comments on how much they like his name and how they have never heard of it. He is all boy and has such a strong name as Dawson fits him perfectly, he is one of a kind.
Posted by: Marcia at 8:57am Sep 3
We adopted our son at 5.5 months. His given name was my husband's name, which we did not want to use. We looked next at his middle name, and the silly thing was, we each had a "crazy" uncle by that name, so we tossed that out too. In my family it is common for the boys to have their father's first name as their middle name, so we were able to keep his birth name Michael as a middle name, and give him the first name we really wanted - Isaac - because we had waited a LONG time for him to arrive (see the Bible for the full story), and the name itself means laughing, which is so appropriate for the happy boy we brought home and still laugh with 3 years later.
Posted by: Elaine at 11:17am Sep 3
In meetings (prior to our daughter's birth) with her birthparents, we were told that they were going to name her Baylie Marie. However, my husband and I liked the name Lizzy. We discussed, with the birthparents, changing her name when the adoption was finalized and they were fine with that. We name our little girl Elizabeth Grace-Marie. Elizabeth & Grace after my two nieces and then hyphenated it with Marie, honoring the birthparents choice of a middle name. (Although I loved the name Baylie, we had a family dog named that growing up and I just couldn't name my child that!)
Posted by: Susan at 5:43am Sep 4
My daughter is from Ethiopia, and her birthname is "Lidya." Although it is a beautiful name and means "beautiful" in Amharic, we had decided long before we had chosen to adopt that our first daughter's name would be "Rose Patricia," in honor of my grandmother "Patricia Rose." To honor Rose's amazing birthmother, we named her "Rose Patricia Lidya." Yes it is a long name, but this way she has something from my family, her birth mother, and her dad's family (our last name). When we adopt again (an older child) we will keep his or her Ethiopian name. It is just a different situation when adopting an infant versus an older child!
Posted by: Molly at 4:48pm Sep 28
In the moments that matter, even our own names are just sounds people make to tell us apart. What we are isn't that. - Joss Whedon
Posted by: Cathryn at 7:43pm Sep 29
P.S. We named our daughter "Adelie" after the penguin species.
Posted by: Cathryn at 7:46pm Sep 29
We just completed the adoption of our daughter, Aakriti, who was born in Nepal almost exactly two years before she arrived home. We knew from the time we made the decision to adopt that we would keep our child's given name as part of her "new" name. Aakriti (pronounced AH-kriti), which is sort of a "dark side" name (it means shadow or form) is not a name we would have chosen, but we love it and....it's her name! She was given the name by her Nepalese caretakers, with whom she lived beginning day three. It feels like an important connection to the people who loved and cared for her for her first two years of life. We have not yet chosen a middle name but will probably chose another Nepali name. She will have my (mom's) last name, and my husband's last name as a second middle name, whereas our son (who is 7) has my husband's last name (and my last name as a second middle name. So she is Aakriti _______ Hester Glor. Our son is Adlai Matthew Glor Hester.
Posted by: Megan at 9:47pm Oct 17
We have had a weird happening with our baby name. My husband's brother ask us what our number one baby name was. I told him and 10 months later he names his child the name he knows we have selected and held onto for 8 long years of infertility. Now we are adopting internationally and we don't know what to do. Go ahead and name our child the name that we have held onto all this time or find a new name. I don't know why someone would on purpose try to hurt an infertile couple by doing such a thing but I do believe this is a clear case of sibling jealousy at its best. What do you think we should do?
Posted by: Jen at 9:13am Nov 11
Jen- wow, that really rots. I would just go ahead and use the name you wanted. So what if your child's cousin has the same name? It is this way in lots of families, including mine. Your child will be so much more pleasant, beautiful, smart, and funny than your in-laws that nobody will mix up the kids! ;-) best wishes!
Posted by: Cathryn at 1:21pm Dec 19
My son was adopted from Guatemala at 17 months. His birthmother named him David Esau. David is my husband's and my father-in-law's name, so we kept it! We were going to drop Esau, but his foster family called him "Esaulito" meaning "little Esau," so we decided to keep the Esau. Both of our girls have middle names from family (their grandmothers' middle names), so we also added Louis on, which is one of my Hispanic grandfather's names, to keep up the tradition of having a family name for a middle name. Now his name is David Esau Louis with our last name, of course.
Posted by: Toni at 12:45pm Jan 22
Our son's bmom wanted to let us name him. We had already picked a first name (a name my husband was set on, I picked the spelling). His second name is my husband's second name, too, named after his grandfather, although it is also a common name in my family. We had intended to stop at that, but at the hospital, we decided to add the male version of his bmom's middle name, too, which is also the name of her grandfather. So his name is a combination of us as parents, our families and his birth family.
Posted by: Elly at 8:36am Feb 4
Our birthmother made some suggestions and bought us a book with 100,000 names (not daunting at all). We actually really like one of the names. So we used it as his middle name. As for his middle name...we wanted to throw all caution to the wind and be original... so we have our adorable 6mon+ with us now - Farber Nolan.... however - the complication comes in the fact that as an unmarried same-sex couple we want him to still be connected to both of us as. So we hyphennated our two last names into his last name.... I hope he finds a significant other with a simple name...
Posted by: Ryan LaLonde at 8:42am Feb 4
I have two daughters through embryo donation/adoption and foster-to-adopt. One is six months old and the other is almost 3. My youngest is Jewish(I am African-American). Since I don't know much about her birth parents (our adoption is closed) I decided to give her a Jewish name: Isabella. My older daughter, who is half Latina and Half Chinese, was named Violet. I decided to keep it since it was her birth mother's name.
Posted by: Tasha at 10:20am Feb 4
Our daughter was named Angela Carolina at birth. I suspect she was named by her birthmother because she shares her middle name. Although I very much liked the name Angela, I had always known I would name our daughter Carmen. As luck would have it the middle name Carolina fit perfectly with the name Carmen and it is also a beautiful way to honor her birthmother, by both keeping part of the name she gave her and by keeping her birthmother's middle name as an infinite connection.
Posted by: Lynn at 12:43pm Feb 4
I am the third generation with the initials AKJ so I knew, as a single mother, I would name my daughter appropriately to carry on the tradition started by my grandfather. It was especially meaninful as he had immigrated to the US from Armenia which is also my my daughter's birthplace. Before I met her I called her AK knowing that those would be her initials but not sure what her full name would be. Ironically, her given name started with an A as well but I decided to name her after my paternal grandmoter, Adrianne, and took poetic license with her middle name, Kara, after my maternal grandmother, Clara. Though both are gone now I will always remember them when I think of her full name as we still call her AK.
Posted by: Amy at 2:50pm Feb 4
My husband is a Junior and both he and his father go by Chuck. When we were trying to get pregnant, we discussed different nicknames for Charles that were not Chuck. Two are enough. Once we realized that the biological route was not for us, we decided that any boy we would adopt would have the given name Charles but his nickname would be that of the equivalent in the language of his birth country. We adopted from Guatemala so Carlos was it. Imagine our surprise when our son's birth name was Juan Carlos. I tried to make sure that his birth mom knew that he would be keeping some of the name she gave her. Our daughter came to us two years later. I had had my "daughter's" name picked out since I was 14. We kept her birth name as her second middle names after the names that honor my grandmothers with a French twist. Her name is Claire Brigitte Alejandra.
Posted by: Cathy at 4:51pm Feb 5
We adopted our daughter domestically at birth. We have an open adoption and her birth mother wanted us to choose the name. We picked Lauren as a first name and Elisabeth as a middle name -- my middle name is Elizabeth (with a "z") and our daughter's birthmother's middle name is Elise so that was our way of honoring both of our daughter's mothers.
Posted by: Kris at 8:55am May 5
When we adopted our younger son, Sam, his foster mother had taken to calling him Max (his birth mother had not named him). While we liked the name "Max," we wanted to name him ourselves. My husband's great-grandfather was named Samford, and to honor him (and his recently deceased mom), we named our son Samuel. We did not fully appreciate or consciously choose how his name fit in with his big sister (our eldest, Hannah - biblically, the mother of the prophet Samuel). I cannot imagine Sammy with a different name - he fits it so well. A funny aside - my dear friend has boys named Max and Sam. Max felt slighted when we changed the name "Max" to "Sam", but fortunately his mom convinced him that it was very important for parents to be able to name their baby and not a reflection on how we felt about him and his name!
Posted by: Beth Anne Jackson at 9:36pm Sep 14
I'm in the process of adopting a 12 year old boy with a very strange spelling of an otherwise unique and lovely boy's name. I hope to convince him to use both spellings as a first and middle name so he has both options later.
Posted by: Marc at 8:59pm Feb 4
We adopted a sibling group of three. They came to us as foster children at 3,2, and newborn. It took nearly three years for them to become ours. We have remained close to the bio mom, so we did do some changing, but kept some of their birth names, too. Makiha Kahrie became Makya Karie. Atraiue Zebany became Trey Nathan Daws (everyone always called him Trey) and Joshua Nathan Lee became Jayce Connor Joseph. Makya really only got a new spelling. Trey kept the first name that everyone had always called him and we gave him the name of his bio mom's brother (Nathan) because he is the spitting image of him. The Daws is my husbands grandfather. Jayce got a total make-over. We already had a Joshua in the family,so we went with Jayce. Connor is my choice for a boy. Joseph is after bio mom's most supportive sibling. And all my kids have a 'y' in their names: Rhys, Kylie, Bryonie, Makya, Trey, and Jayce. I think we were like most of you. We wanted to honor the bio family while still making them a part of our family.
Posted by: Jane Emery at 9:48pm Nov 14
Long before we had our daughter's profile, we had selected the name "Sarah Lyn" to mean "beautiful princess". The name "Lyn" was after many who had prayed for us during our journey to parenthood and we chose the spelling from a wonderful and compassionate doctor who walked the whole way with us. The name "sarah" was chose because a girl had not been born into my husband's family since 1903 and a girl would indeed be a "princess" to the family. When we received our daughter's profile, we learned the characters chosen for her Chinese name "Xiu Yi" meant "beautiful young lady". That was one of many coincidences that followed our adoption journey to ur BEAUTIFUL little Asian princess. She knows and is proud of both of her names. Right now she thinks that her Chinese name is a direct translation from her English name but she'll understand the meanings more when she is older. It's nice to use her Chinese name in a crowd because of the number of girls with the name "Sarah". I can all out her Chinese Name and only one child responds, otherwise many do with her English name. LOL!
Posted by: Rhonda Thayer at 11:34am Feb 2
We are about to welcome home our twin daughters @ 16 months! We are in Love! We are in a very open adoption, and I told their birth mother that she gave them their first names...and we will give them their last. It doesnt hurt that they are the cutest names ever, and match their smiling lil faces just right!
Posted by: Rochelle at 11:47am Feb 3
P.S. In my teenage fantasies I loved the name "Catherine Elizabeth" because you could find a nickname in it to fit any personality from Cathy to Kate, Liz to Bess (or Beth. or Betsy). As a young adult, I favored Jennifer Lynn (Jenny) for an adopted daughter from China. By the time we were at the point of adopting, I guess we were finally ready to throw open wide the door to whomever God sent through! I'm so glad we did.
Posted by: Caro at 12:45am Feb 4
Well, this is always a funny topic to me simply because the 1st child I adopted was an infant (fostercare) and came to me at 3 days of age. I loved the name her birthmother gave her but felt she should at least have our last name. Since her birthmother had not given her a middle name, we did! We used her new great grandmother's name. This flowed beautifully with the her first name given by her birthmom. At that time I thought I had naming an adopted child all figured out and that the original given name should be kept because it was a part of the child's heritage and identity. I was actually angry at people that would "take away" an adopted child's history by changing the name. Boy did I have a lot to learn. I then adopted 4 more kids. Each of the next four adopted kids came to me at a much older age and with a significant amount of trauma. What I found instead was that 3 of them simply wanted a clean slate with a new name. They each selected their own names...dropping anything that had to do with their previous families and making it significantly harder for their birth families to ever find them. Then came my 4 year old. From the moment we met him he called himself Bobby. This was NOT his given name by any means! After awhile he called himself Ken. We threw up our hands and named him Kenneth Robert...only later realized that he had picked his name from Toy Story 3 and was actually saying Ken and Barbie. ROFL Regardless, his new name fits his personality and both Kenneth and Robert are family names (one name from each grandfather!) so it really does just work for us. I was truly surprised at how badly my children wanted new names. But once I truly understood their trauma history, it made a lot of sense to help my children form new identities and in the process make it harder for biological families to search them out.
Posted by: calmom1970 at 7:55am Jun 15
Our daughter's first name was given to her by her birthmom and is her (birthmoms) middle name. And we gave our daughter her middle name which is my middle name. So she has both her mom's middle names. The spelling of her first name reflects part of her heritage.
Posted by: Debbie at 9:14am Jun 15
With our open adoption we had lovely conversations with our birthparents that confirmed that they would give her a name that would always be special to them - Satara Nadhi (Starry River) and they loved our suggestions of names for her finalization Amelia Omalara Grace (Omalara meaning "wanted") so this little one will have plenty of names to choose from but for now she is our little Mia and we all couldn't be happier for having the one we so long wanted, to arrive in grace and in perfect ways.
Posted by: Brian at 10:50am Jun 15
Our son's birthmother asked us to consider keeping the first name she chose. We ended up keeping both the first and middle names she chose. His middle name is Lamont, which we loved because it just rolls off the tongue! I am often asked how we chose his name and I am so happy to have a chance to mention and honor his birthmother's choice!
Posted by: Karen at 12:11pm Jun 15
Although we adopted 2 newborns, each had a unique last name (as did each of us, their parents) and we faced becoming a family with four last names. Upon finalizing adoption, we made an anagram of the first letters of our names, and became a new "forever family" with a unique last name shared by us all. New family, new names, new life for us all!
Posted by: boz at 1:48pm Dec 28
Although we adopted 2 newborns, each had a unique last name (as did each of us, their parents) and we faced becoming a family with four last names. Upon finalizing adoption, we made an anagram of the first letters of our names, and became a new "forever family" with a unique last name shared by us all. New family, new names, new life for us all!
Posted by: boz at 1:48pm Dec 28
I was born with a genetic heart condition that killed one of my siblings. Faced with the thought that I could pass that fate on to a bio child, I made the decision to adopt while I was still in high school. I wanted a little girl, named after my twin sister, Jennifer. My daughter, Jenna Ruth Taisya, was adopted from Russia at age 18 months. While in Region, we called her Taisya Jenna, and then once we were in Moscow, she became Jenna Taisya. Until, finally, when we landed in the States, she was Jenna. Jenna for my sister Ruth for her grandmother Taisya for her Russian name, so she has a part of her past wherever she goes,
Posted by: Mary at 8:36pm Jan 24
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