On our Facebook page (facebook.com/adoptivefamilies), we asked readers, During a long wait to adopt, pat assurances may feel frustrating. What words of comfort would you rather hear? Here’s what you said:
“Would you like to meet for coffee so you can vent? Waiting indefinitely has got to be rough!” —CARRIE
“I’m not sure if there are perfect words to say that would help. Only people who have been through this can say and truly mean, ‘I feel your pain….’ ” —MONIQUE
“I feel people have the best intentions, but, in reality, don’t really know what to say. A couple of days ago I was told, ‘You are a day closer to your baby.’ I don’t know why, but that simple comment brought me so much peace.” —ROX
“Nothing would have made the wait easier for me. The only words I wanted to hear were, ‘here is your baby.’” —JESSICA
“You will be a parent. Please always remember that.” —KARLA
“It’s been three years and counting for me, and only people who have been through it get it, so I’m so glad I found this page. When my parents call, they ask, ‘Are you still going through with the adoption?’ and have even told me to give up. Not only does this dampen my spirit, but it makes it clear that they just don’t get it, and have not even bothered to try to understand the pain that comes with a wait.” —BERNADETTE
“I just wanted someone to listen and tell me they were praying for us. It was also helpful when people acknowledged how difficult the waiting must be.” —KRISTAN
“It’s a hard, hard time, and thinking of things not to say is easier. I think having people tell us we were going to be great parents kept encouraging us to continue.” —LORI
“There really weren’t any words that helped me. It was especially tough because it seemed like all the people around me were getting pregnant! The only thing that helped was that I knew it would happen—that it might not be on my timetable, but that I would definitely have a baby.” —SAMANTHA
“I don’t think there really are words that make it easier…maybe just a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen. And thank you for asking this—just knowing that others feel the same way has helped make it better!” —CARLA
