Celestial Arts; 2001

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Nancy London, who gave birth to her only child at age 43, felt worn out by motherhood by the time her daughter was nine. She ultimately realized she’d entered menopause. However, as a therapist, she saw an opportunity to explore the issues of aging and motherhood. She placed an ad in a local paper offering to form a support group and was overwhelmed by the response. Moms 40 to 60 years old, single and married, birth and adoptive, working at home or away, on their first or second families—all needed to talk. So she listened.

In Hot Flashes, Warm Bottles, London weaves together their experiences as they discuss common concerns. Motherhood after 40 often follows the emotional and financial strain of infertility or adoption. Middle-age parenting drains physical, emotional, and sexual energies. It ignores the demands of menopause. It presents tough choices between career and family. And it sandwiches Mom between two generations: her childrens and her parents. Overall, the moms comments are insightful, sometimes humorous, and often encouraging. Despite the challenges, not one of them regrets becoming an over-40 parent.

At the end of each chapter, London suggests activities for the reader’s Journey Book—a personal collection of writings, pictures, experiences, and anything else that touches the reader’s soul. She ends the book with a complete curriculum for creating a first-time-moms-over-40 support group and a long list of resources on parenting.

Reviewed by Eric McAttee; reprinted courtesy of Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption, www.frua.org.