When adoption is a part of your life, you have stories to tell, and are hungry to learn from, rejoice at, argue with, applaud, or smile knowingly at the experiences of others. Blogs offer an ideal way to do so.
Starting from your nominations, we clicked our way through the adoption blogosphere to bring you the best of the best. The 18 selections listed here (in no particular order) will get your heart beating a little faster, make you LOL, cause you to reminisce about your family’s memories, maybe even question your own parenting decisions — and move you to post your own comment.
1. My Thoughts Through the Journey of Adoption
After struggling with infertility for six years, Heather and her husband decided to adopt. They’re currently waiting to be matched with a birth mother, and blogging every detail of the process. This no-frills blog reads like a diary, and lets you feel like you’re “in on it” with the author.
Quotable Post:
“I spent most of my time this weekend no longer looking for the best agency, but comparing us to the ‘other’ families on the list. I know this probably isn’t the best way to spend my time. However, I think (or I hope) it’s natural to want to find out where you stand on the list of perfect families waiting to be matched. My biased opinion, after looking through 154 profiles, is that we would absolutely be the ‘coolest’ couple on the list! Haa haa!”
Tags: waiting, adoption process, domestic
2. Production, Not Reproduction
PNR is the blogosphere destination for members of open adoptions. In addition to well-written personal posts, Heather maintains an open adoption blogroll and hosts roundtables, offering thoughtful prompts like, “Imagine your child as an adult describing his open adoption experience.”
Quotable Post:
“When I mention open adoption to acquaintances for the first time, they almost always bring up first parents who might pose a danger to their children. When I tell them I’m married, they don’t warn me that spouses can be abusers. Yet they assume we should approach our relationship to my son’s first parents with great caution.
What is it about open adoption that is so frightening to most people?”
Tags: open, transracial
3. Chasing a Child
After doing the infertility rounds, the author and her husband adopted domestically. Read her infectious, amusing posts about parenting a very active little boy (dubbed “Squeaker” on her blog), reestablishing birth mother contact after nearly two years, and their current quest to become parents via frozen embryo transfer, at age 45.
Quotable Post:
“We called Squeaker’s birth mom yesterday to wish her a Happy Birthday. I could hear the nerves in her voice, so we talked about other things before I put Squeaker on the phone. When I did, he burst out singing ‘Happy Birthday’ with no prompting! — and I grabbed a tissue.
After I took the phone back, I asked her if she was OK. There was a long pause. Then, very slowly, she said, ‘That…was SO cool.’”
Tags: open, domestic, transracial, infertility, assisted reproduction
4. Letters to a Birthmother
M. began her blog in 2007 as a way of “sending” notes to the birth mother they weren’t in close contact with. Since then, their adoption has become fully open, and her blog chronicles the everyday ups and downs of parenting her son, “Woob,” in an open adoption.
Quotable Post:
“Woob: I have two daddies.
Me: Yes you do.
Woob (excitedly): And two moms! You and N.!
Me: How special that you do (hugs and kisses).
He’s initiating adoption (and body parts) discussion a lot lately. I’m glad he is. I can’t imagine being a family that doesn’t tell a kiddo about his adoption (or his body parts) until he’s ‘ready.’”
Tags: domestic, open
5. My Three Sons
Samantha is the wise parent we all strive to be. She writes with humor and grace about parenting three inquisitive, active, big-hearted boys through domestic, infant adoption.
Quotable Post:
“When Oscar asked me why he had never met my mother, I said, ‘She is not kind to other people, and I can’t take the chance that she would be unkind to you.’ He thought, then responded, ‘Mom, do you ever wish she had made an adoption plan?’
He understood that my mother, like his birth mother, was not able to be a mother. But mine did not have the same foresight and courage as his.”
Tag: domestic
6. Write Mind, Open Heart
When Lori, a mother of two, started blogging, her family had a very open relationship with her daughter’s first mother. Now, all four birth parents are a regular part of their lives. Must-reads include her compelling accounts of post-adoption depression and the reunion with her daughter’s first father.
Quotable Post:
“The most recent Mother’s Day brought a first, as well as a completion. For the tenth year in a row, Tessa’s first mom and I wished each other a happy Mother’s Day. For the third year in a row, Tessa’s first dad texted me. For the first time in awhile, Reed’s first mom sent me greetings. And for the first time, Reed’s first dad reached out.
Both of our open adoptions are now complete. And, g*d willing, ongoing.”
Tags: open, domestic
7. Donor Eggs Journey
After various fertility treatments, Journey Girl traveled to Thailand for a donor egg transfer. Her son is now three months old, and she’s embracing the challenges motherhood brings. She and her husband are going to try for a second baby in the fall.
Quotable Post:
“There is a lingering feeling of ‘what the?’ about being a ‘Donor Egg Mother.’ It is not that I feel separate from JBB. I don’t — I couldn’t love him more than I do. I don’t care that he doesn’t look like me — he looks like my fabulous husband, which is a beautiful thing to me.
I think it is because of the label ‘Donor Egg Mother.’ Why do I feel the need to label myself so, when I am just ‘Mother’?”
Tags: infertility, assisted reproduction
8. Mama C and the Boys
Mama C is a single mother, by choice, through domestic, open adoption and donor insemination. She’s currently “co-parenting” her two sons with her oldest brother, who lives upstairs.
Quotable Post:
“Marcel has seen a picture of his donor. His donor is a real person. His donor has a face.
My explanation went something like this: ‘Just like Sammy has a birth father, who helped bring him into the world, you have a donor who helped create you. A donor is like a birth father.’
That night he ran into a family gathering asking if they wanted to see a picture of his donor.
His grandfather thought he said ‘donut.’”
Tags: single, transracial, assisted reproduction, open
9. Goggy Coffee
Goggy has a fluid, lighthearted tone, and many of his tales will make you laugh out loud. But he’s also written profound posts on infertility from a male viewpoint and on race. His family is fostering (and hoping to adopt) their son’s younger brother, so we’re eager to see how that unfolds.
Quotable Post:
“When people learn that we hope to adopt J, they usually ask, ‘Aren’t you afraid of the effect on the kids if he leaves?’ If he does, we’ll mourn losing him. Then, after time has passed, we’ll look back on our time together and take comfort in that. We’re grateful for the memories we’ve already gotten to build with him in our lives. For years we prayed for a letter or a photo from Isaac’s birth family. We didn’t expect to get another son.”
Tags: domestic, foster, transracial, dad’s perspective
10. Adoption Talk
The tagline of Malinda’s blog, “Talking about adoption, birth parents, abandonment, race, and China with my kids,” nicely sums up what she covers. She tackles these topics head-on in intelligent, well-written posts. After every visit, you’ll close your browser with something to think about.
Quotable Post:
“At ballet on Wednesday, a little girl asked Zoe why her skin was brown, told her it looked dirty, called her ‘Blackie,’ and accused her of ‘sneaking around’ the ballet studio. None of Zoe’s friends in the dressing room stood up for her.
It’s so ugly, it hurts to type it. Even worse, when I offered sympathy, she tried to make me feel better, saying, ‘I’m used to it.’ How awful to be eight years old and used to racial insults.”
Tags: China, talking about adoption, transracial
11. Our Little Tongginator
The clean, attractive design will catch your eye, and the funny, honest stories about raising a feisty little girl adopted from China will keep you checking back.
Quotable Post:
“It wasn’t until about a year ago that I truly began enjoying being a momma on a consistent basis. Before that, it felt like a ton of work. With sprinkles of rainbows thrown in to give me hope.
But this past week the Tongginator was sick and spent three days suctioned to me like a limpet. The diagnosis? A cold. But she wanted me. Touching her, loving her. All the time. Y’all, I think we’ve finally arrived. And it feels so darn good.”
Tags: China, transracial, special needs
12. They’re All My Own
When Alison and Kurt’s daughters were in their late teens, the couple adopted two boys from Ethiopia. Alison’s unique perspective — she’s a mother by birth and by international adoption and an adult adoptee — comes through in many posts.
Quotable Post:
“It is Jemberu’s Gotcha Day tomorrow. This is a big deal at our house.
My own Gotcha Day was a couple of weeks ago. When I was growing up, this meant I would hear ‘my story’ again. I would groan when my dad got to the part about my stinky diaper, and my mom being so excited she forgot to bring a diaper bag. My groaning didn’t fool anyone, I loved every detail of my story.”
Tags: Ethiopia, transracial, older-child adoption, biological children, adult adoptee
13. Cupcake and the Caseys
Since bringing Clara home from Russia, nine months ago, Amy has embraced parenthood. She blogs about everyday life with a toddler, her daughter’s growth and medical appointments (including post-adoption eye surgery), and some very cute baby clothing and gear. Note: Check out the meticulous Russia adoption timeline in the right column!
Quotable Post:
“We saw the ‘regular’ pediatrician for the first time today. We’d been so pleased with the developmental pediatrician, but have mixed feelings about this doctor. She was helpful and informative on some topics, but she told us that Clara needs to learn to self-soothe and cry herself to sleep (insert big eye-roll here). I think that, after 12 months alone in a crib, the girl knows how to self-soothe. Cry herself to sleep? I don’t think so.”
Tags: Russia, medical needs
14. Rage Against the Minivan
From the title to the photos to the posts, Kristen’s blog is entertaining and thought-provoking. Her unique voice comes through in posts about letting her boys dress up as girls, taking a trip to visit her son’s orphanage “brother,” and, yes, ranting about (and ultimately giving in to) the iconic minivan.
Quotable Post:
“As an adoptive parent, I walk a line. On one hand, not wanting to make my children feel like charity cases. On the other hand, I have had my eyes opened to the realities of institutionalization. I’ve seen 30 children sleeping head-to-toe in a hot room in India. I’ve seen kids in Zimbabwe go from home to home, hoping that someone would have some extra food. So I am compelled to talk about these things.”
Tags: foster, Haiti, transracial, biological children
15. The Declassified Adoptee
Amanda, adopted in the U.S. when closed adoptions were the norm, is a passionate advocate for adoptee rights. She reads and researches extensively, and her articulate posts are peppered with footnotes, statistics, and relevant quotes.
Quotable Post:
“I talk about this a lot on my blog: how one adoptee gets compared to another. There’s the ever-popular, ‘I know someone who is adopted, and they’re fine with it; they never talk about it.’ I know several adoptees who view adoption positively, but they still advocate for reform and frequently talk about being adopted. And so I wonder why it is, to so many, that being silent about such a big thing is a sign of success?”
Tags: adult adoptee, domestic, birth-family contact
16. The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Jenna is a birth mother in a fully open, domestic adoption, and is also a mother raising two boys. She shares stories about all three of her kids, thoughts on adoption, and powerful memories about her first pregnancy and the relinquishment of the “Munchkin.”
Quotable Post:
“This weekend, we’re visiting the Munchkin and her family. I’m nervous about the emotions that swirl each time I see her. There is a moment of shock that she is standing in front of me, giving me a hug and kiss. It is followed by a surge of pure motherly love. Then comes overwhelming loss — of seeing how much she has grown, of her beauty, of her intelligence, her smile, her wiggly toes. And then she’s off and running, as kids do.”
Tags: birthmother, open, domestic, biological children
17. An Infertile Blonde
Becky Fawcett went through five IVF cycles, had two miscarriages, and spent thousands of dollars trying to conceive before adopting domestically. Her posts range from heartfelt confessionals about infertility and waiting to self-deprecating observations about aging to giddy celebrations of life with her two children. Fawcett and her husband founded the grant-making organization helpusadopt.org.
Quotable Post:
“Before I became a working mom, I used to be a punctual person. But of course, in true Infertile Blonde fashion, my period is always on time. So when I was four days late this month, I had to wonder. Wouldn’t that be just my luck? $50,000 into our second adoption, and I’m pregnant.
Don’t get your hopes up. I was just late. Maybe my body was just trying to remind me that I am human. Got it, loud and clear.”
Tags: infertility, domestic
18. Stirrup Queens
Melissa and her husband eventually conceived twins via IUI, and are currently taking a break from fertility treatments to conceive again. She posts about family and parenting, but her blog also stands as a gathering place for the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community on the Web (at last count, her blogroll contained 2,712 blogs).
Quotable Post:
“There are many posts in the ALI community about whether infertility makes you a better parent. Not in the sense of knowing all the verses to ‘Wheels on the Bus’ and being an expert diaperer, but more patient, more appreciative. How much struggling is necessary to make us who we become? Given the choice between always receiving whatever you want, or having to gather your own happiness, which would you choose?”
Tags: infertility, biological children
Did we miss any of your favorites? Share it with us in the comments below! Or write to the editors directly by clicking on the “Talk to AF” button on our online community, AdoptiveFamiliesCircle!
