Daring to parent an older child who has experienced hurt or neglect in the past will help him learn to trust and love.
What I Wish I Had Known
After the initial adjustment stages, parents who adopt older kids often say, “Why didn’t someone tell me that?” Here are eight of the lessons families I’ve worked with over the past 25 years have learned.
Older Child Parenting — The Facts Behind Food Challenges
Our expert explains common feeding challenges with adopted older children, and their solutions.
Adapting Expectations
When you adopt a toddler or an older child, be prepared to encounter some surprising behaviors. Experts and parents share their strategies and successes.
“Too Soon for a Family Vacation”: Older Child Adjustment
What we should have known before we took our newly adopted 13-year-old on a surprise Disney World vacation.
Preparing Siblings for an Older-Child Adoption
We’ve decided to adopt an older child. We have two children now, and we’re wondering how best to integrate our new child into the family. What’s your advice?
When Your Older Child Comes Home
We’re about to adopt a seven-year-old. Does he have to start school right away? What about medical care? What can wait until we’ve bonded?
Overcoming Older Child Anxiety
We recently adopted a five-year-old. She seems so fearful and anxious! How can we help her learn to trust and love us?
“Finally — Finalization!” — Part 6 of Foster Adoption Series
In part six of our adoption odyssey, Angie and Alexandra become our children in the eyes of the law. In our hearts, that had happened months ago.
“Balancing Act” — Part 5 of Foster Adoption Series
In part five of our family’s adoption odyssey, we begin the tug-of-war also known as parenting a teenager.
“School Daze” — Part 4 of Foster Adoption Series
In part four of our family’s adoption odyssey, our daughter grapples with her learning disability.
“Learning How to Settle In” — Part 3 of Foster Adoption Series
In the third part of our family’s adoption odyssey, our new daughters help us rediscover the joy in everyday moments.
“A New Family Dynamic” — Part 2 of Foster Adoption Series
In the second part of our family’s adoption odyssey, we meet our new daughters and confront their past — and look to our future together.
“In the Beginning” — Part 1 of Foster Adoption Series
In part one of our family’s adoption odyssey, we make our way through our state’s Fost/Adopt program and find that things don’t always go according to plan. But sometimes, that’s for the best.
“A Home for Helen”
She was a motherless five-year-old living in an Ethiopian orphanage. The package in her hands promised a brighter future.
Letting Go: The Truth About Adoption Disruption
The decision to disrupt an adoption is agonizing. But if it’s been made, we must focus on the child’s best interests rather than on placing blame, say families and experts.
“Our Dog Helped My Daughter Realize Family Is Forever”
Hugging our new dog, my daughter learns that no matter what the behavior, our family is forever.
When Food Becomes a Battleground
Children who reject food aren’t necessarily rejecting you.
Ask AF: Older Child Adjustment
The older child we’re adopting is coming to us after seven years of foster care in another country. How can we make the transition easier?
“Changing My Name to Mom”
As she prepares for the adoption of her third child, the author knows it is not just she who must be ready, but also the 9-year-old girl she’s fallen in love with.