Adoptive Families readers received, on average, 9.6 weeks of leave from work. Here’s how to make an informed childcare decision, and keep the transition from disrupting your bond.
Ask AF: Will Multiple Family Moves Disrupt Attachment?
Our daughter came home two years ago, at 11 months old. In that time, we moved in with my parents while we built a new house, then moved into that house, and, now, it looks like we will have to move again for a new job.
Ask AF: Sleep Problems
After two bumpy years, we finally got my daughter, now five, to sleep through the night. But she’s recently had a slew of sleep problems: night wakings, anxiety at bedtime, and so on. Is this because of adoption? What can we do? We are exhausted!
“What Will This Baby Be Like?”
A mother shares the “new, unexpected, and amazing” attributes of her adopted son, of which no one talked about at the start of their adoption journey.
Connecting Through Everyday Baby Care
Dressing, feeding, burping, tickling, tucking into bed — the nuts and bolts of baby care bring the moments that can draw you together.
“Great Non-Expectations”
The intense motherly love that washed over me after Jack’s adoption was a shock to everyone — especially me.
“Talking About Adoption at Bedtime”
My daughter brings stuff up at bedtime. Most five-year-olds do; they don’t want to be left alone to sleep. She likes when I tell her stories in the dark and rub her back. Who wouldn’t like all that? Aside: bedtime can—if I let it—take forever.
View the Baby Care for Adoptive Parents Webinar Replay
View the replay of a webinar with Nicole Mayer, RMA, RN, BSN to learn about baby care basics and hear answers to commonly asked questions from new parents.
Establishing a Sleep Routine
All parents long for a peaceful bedtime routine: Read your child a story, kiss her goodnight, and don’t see her again until morning. If you understand how children learn to sleep all night, you can help your child manage her sleep and security needs, as you promote her attachment to you.
“The Promise of a Thousand Memories”
“Your baby is coming!” Our daughter’s birth mom, Brooke, had finally gone into labor, almost two weeks late. The call came at 3:30 A.M., and we were out the door by 4 A.M. The toy dangling from the empty car seat rattled like a ticking clock as we drove along the highway for two long hours.
“Our Initiation Into Parenthood”
Our first foster placements were a two-year-old girl and her baby brother. Their last placement had disrupted due to her primal fits. As a child therapist, I dealt with children all day, sometimes for an hour at a time. I told my husband we could handle it. I’ll get back to that later.
“My First Mother’s Day”
My first Mother’s Day took me from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to Chicago. It was the day I was baptized into motherhood.
“My Nights with Tiana”
So Tiana moved into our bed. As time went on, she began to awaken, startled, reaching her little hand toward my side of the big bed. As soon as she felt me beside her, she would fall back asleep. By her third or fourth month home, Tiana was waking up every 10 minutes to make sure I was beside her. Her panic was palpable.
“Finally Feeling Like Mummy”
I think I finally get it. This, what I feel now, is what being a mummy is supposed to feel like. I had wondered if I would immediately fall in love with my child; I thought I would be certain that he was “the one.” But I didn’t.
“A Hat Just Like Dad’s”
In our newly created transracial family, my husband’s and son’s matching blue hats was a tangible link. Something that said: We belong together.
“Music to My Ears”
At 10, Julia is fully attached to my husband and me. We are a solid forever family, the three of us. But our daughter is still reticent about investing passion elsewhere. There are no posters of Justin Bieber in her room. There is no friend from school she calls her BFF. Not one thing that really, really matters.
The Ins and Outs of Newborn Care
We are planning to adopt a newborn, but know nothing about babies. Help!
Ask AF: Advice for the Time in the NICU
Answers to your parenting questions.
Forming a Healthy Attachment
Whatever your child’s history, responsive parenting is key to a secure, loving relationship.
“Reaching Out for Her Dad”
I had expected to form an attachment slowly, but I was instantly smitten with my daughter. She was the one who came around in her own time.