When you adopt an older child who pushes you away in anger, you learn a different way to parent, to give love without immediately receiving it in return.
“I Want the Same Hubbub That Surrounds Pregnancy!”
When I announced our adoption plans, I hoped for the same kind of excitement that pregnant women get. After all, the happiness we’re expecting is the same.
“Teaching My Children That Black Is Beautiful”
I tell my African-American children that they are smart and beautiful because I know that the world may tell them otherwise.
“Loving My Children’s ‘Ingredients'” – Nature vs. Nurture
Parenting children with different DNA opened up new worlds for me. Loving who they are means parenting their DNA and not my own agenda.
“What We Wish We Had Known” – Older Child Adoption
A mom and her daughter share lessons learned about older child adoption.
“Getting Past Working-Mom Guilt”
A new mother learns that she can go back to work and still retain the title of “Mom.”
“I Was Afraid to Adopt. I Was Afraid Not to Adopt.”
“It’s hard to believe how reluctant I once was to adopt. In hindsight, I can see how much I needed this all along.” — Dennis Kneale
“Two Very Different Paths to Attachment”
Our kids both came to us at 20 months old, but bonding with each child required very different tactics.
“Moving Past a Miscommunication in Our Open Adoption”
14 years into our open adoption, we’ve learned that conflicts can occur, as in any family. Here’s how we moved past one sticky situation when our son’s birth mother sent him a check in the mail.
“The Other Mother”
A birth mom and an adoptive mom delve into the complex — and surprising — realities of their open adoptions.
“Too Many Questions”
When you and your child look different, the world wants to know why.
“Worth the Risk” – Living Through a Failed Adoption
Our failed adoption left our hearts shattered. But, as we learned, you take this risk no matter how you come to be parents, whenever you choose to love someone or something other than yourself.
A ‘Lost’ Daughter Speaks, and All of China Listens
I went to China to find the birth mother who left me on a street corner. Instead, I became the focus of a nation’s buried pain.
Parent-to-Parent: Embracing “Older” Parenthood
Readers who adopted as older parents share some of the drawbacks and benefits, their best advice—and the joy that comes with parenting, not matter what your age.
“Bringing Him Home”
The medical report faxed to us said our son could “speak in full sentences” and proclaimed him healthy. So who was this eerily quiet toddler on the exam table?
“An Open Letter to Gramma B.”
You asked questions, but didn’t pry. You had brought gifts for your granddaughter, and I noticed that they were all things you had lovingly made or thought about carefully. The hour passed quickly and we said we’d be in touch.
To the White Parents of My Black Son’s Friends
But here’s the thing—as much as we can try to protect him and teach him to protect himself, there may come a time when your child will be involved. As the parents of the white friend of my black son, I need you to be talking to your child about racism.
“Here’s How You Can Support Us”
We may tell you that we are OK when we’re really falling apart. We’re worried that, if we are honest about how difficult parenting through the transition is, you won’t understand and that you’ll think we’re nuts.
[BOOK EXCERPT] Everything You Ever Wanted
In this excerpt from her candid, hilarious, inspiring adoption memoir, Jillian Lauren explains how she and her husband addressed their son’s trauma and special needs and turned things around for him at home and at school. Accompanying the excerpt is a Q&A with the author.
Two Adoptees on Going “Home” to China, Again
After a birth country visit to China that was too much, too soon for my seven-year-old daughter, she and a friend returned on their own terms as teens. The trip helped them imagine what their lives might have been and explore their Chinese-American identities.