Although my wife and I talked a great deal about race before we decided on a transracial adoption, we didn’t fully appreciate how conspicuous our family would become. Quite simply, we now stick out in a crowd.
“Digesting Her Adoption Story, a Piece at a Time”
As my daughter grows, she slowly and sweetly puts together the facts of her birth and adoption.
“A Complicated Privilege”
Was hiring someone to search for our daughter’s Guatemalan birth mother the right thing to do? We decided we had no choice but to try to meet her.
“Did You Try to Have Your Own Kids?”
My wife was deluged with questions at a new moms’ group, each one more personal than the last.
“Why Did You Buy a Foreign Child?”
When an anonymous poster invaded our neighborhood message board, I knew I had to answer back.
“Dr. Seuss’s Horton Hatches a Talk About Adoption”
A beloved children’s book sparked a discussion with my three-year-old daughter about adoption and her birth mother.
“Yes, Black Women Do Adopt”
Talking with Black women about adoption became a routine part of motherhood for me, alongside diapers, homework, and the warmth I feel every time I look at my son.
“Knowing Their Brother’s Birth Mother”
We knew that our youngest son’s birth mother would be a powerful force in his life. We didn’t anticipate the impact she’d have on his older brothers.
“My Mother’s Ring”
This heirloom bridges the past with the future, connecting my daughter to our family in profound, unexpected ways.
“My Parents Never Judged My First Mother”
With her swollen belly, my classmate reminded me of my own first mother. People expected her to be ashamed, but I wondered, how can someone be ashamed of the mother without also being ashamed of the baby?
“A Table Laden with Meaning”
While a meal might seem trivial at one level, it may also be filled with lessons about identity, culture, and family.
“Adopting Our Son’s Birth Sister”
When we adopted our son’s biological sister, it felt both eerily similar and completely different.
“Our Kids Are All Right”: Birth Siblings in Open Adoption
Was moving from a semi-open adoption to a fully open one, with visits, the right decision for my birth son and for the daughter I was raising?
“Blood Doesn’t Mean Family”
After reuniting with my birth family and studying in my birth country, I felt closer to my adoptive family than ever.
“Our Frantic 24 Hours After Getting the Adoption Call”
We had only been “active” with our adoption agency for two months. So when my husband went on a camping trip with no cell reception, we thought, “What could go wrong?”
“The Decision to Adopt a Child with Prenatal Drug Exposure”
Typically, I would have spent weeks — if not months — gathering information and exhausting every possible scenario. But there wasn’t time for analyzing. My son needed me.
“Finding Peace with My Adoption Plan”
As a birth mother, my path to adoption was full of conflicting feelings. But at the moment my son was born — when two women came together in the same instant to love him — I felt at peace.
“Teaching Our Daughter That Her Needs Matter”
My little girl didn’t fuss, never cried, and was utterly compliant. It was up to us to teach her to shove, yell, and demand — and find her voice.
“What ‘Real’ Means to Me” – An Adoptee’s Story
Being asked who your “real parents” are is part of being an adoptee. Even though I know now what parenting means, those four letters still make me cringe.
“When Will My Daughter Truly Know What Adoption Means?”
“It’s a hard truth, a harsh reality to take in, that love and pain can be so connected, so entwined. When will she truly know what adoption means? When will she finally learn the whole truth of what this word means?”