Christine Bauer’s revealing memoir begins when she hears those three words (“You are pregnant”) and faces an unplanned pregnancy, and takes readers through her open adoption decision, and the ensuing three decades as a birth mother and mother. In this excerpt, Bauer relates the complicated emotions that accompanied her second pregnancy, 11 years after placing her daughter for adoption, and the birth of her oldest son.
Ask AF: Explaining to a Child That His Sibling Will Be Adopted By Another Family
An expectant mother who’s making an open adoption plan wonders how to explain to her child that his baby sibling will be adopted by another family. A birth mother offers advice.
“Letting Go After Months of Struggling to Parent”
After struggling to parent my twin daughters for ten months, I sadly realized I couldn’t provide them with the stable life I’d envisioned.
Bringing Birth Siblings Into Our Children’s Stories—and Lives
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
The Birth Parent Perspective: Stats and Chart
A study, the Early Growth and Development Study, is shedding light on open adoption attitudes and outcomes. Here are some basic findings, as well as AF poll results on families’ open adoption experiences.
“Finding My Place in the Family”
Though society doesn’t know what to do with birth mothers, I knew I had a place with my son’s parents. At his second birthday party, I learned that I had a place with their family, too.
“A Birthday Gift for Grace”
It wasn’t until my daughter’s first birthday that it hit me: I was grieving her birth mom’s loss. With that realization, I was able to celebrate as she would have wanted.
Ask AF: Books for Understanding the Birth Mothers’ Perspective
Do you know of any books, like I Wish for You a Beautiful Life: Letters from the Korean Birth Mothers of Ae Ran Won to Their Children, written for kids adopted from China?
“Gifts to and from My Child’s Adoptive Family”
In an open adoption, what do you give to the person who means everything to you? Thoughts from a birth mom about the gifts that mean the most.
“The Day I Gave My Heart Away”
A birth mother shares her feelings and thoughts about making an adoption plan for her child.
“Letters of Love”
Sometimes I read the warm, loving letters my birth daughter’s parents send and feel almost incapable of responding. But I always do.
“How to Be His Mother”
Twenty-six years after placing my son for adoption, we found each other. That’s when I started learning—the hard way—how to be a mom.
What Is Life Like for Birth Mothers After Placement?
On Your Feet Foundation’s national survey provides insight into birth mothers’ emotional experiences after placement and what can help them heal.
“Seeing My Daughter’s ‘Happily Ever After'”
My daughter, Rubie, has the kind of life I’d dreamed of for her, and is where she belongs. I only wish I had known that sooner.
The Birth Parent Perspective
A major study reveals that open adoption works well for everyone involved. Hear what families say is good about the process — and what could be better.
A Meeting of the Open Minds
Two adoptive moms and a birth mother candidly discuss the adoption match, birth siblings, contact agreements, and more.
Open Adoption from the Other Side
How does your child’s birth mother feel about being called a “birth mother,” about the frequency and format of contact, her voice in the relationship, and more? We asked five birth mothers in open adoptions these questions. Here are their answers.
A Nation’s Buried Pain
Kay Ann Johnson spent more than 20 years listening to the anguished accounts of Chinese people who relinquished, adopted, and hid out-of-plan or over quota children in the face of the country’s One-Child Policy. In China’s Hidden Children, she shares their stories.
The Adoption Process from the Expectant Mother’s Perspective
What is it really like to decide on adoption, look through parent profiles to choose a family, and place your child in their arms—and how can the adoption process better serve these women?
[Book Excerpt] God and Jetfire
In April, Jonathan was nine months old. The colic had subsided, and he was practicing language that Paula described as “the funniest little combination of mumbling and humming.” She said his voice was very much a little boy’s voice.
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