14 years into our open adoption, we’ve learned that conflicts can occur, as in any family. Here’s how we moved past one sticky situation when our son’s birth mother sent him a check in the mail.
Ask AF: Too Young to Understand Birth Family?
We have an open adoption with our 30-month-old son’s birth family. Last night we were looking at a photo album.
“The Other Mother”
A birth mom and an adoptive mom delve into the complex — and surprising — realities of their open adoptions.
Open Adoption from the Other Side
How does your child’s birth mother feel about being called a “birth mother,” about the frequency and format of contact, her voice in the relationship, and more? We asked five birth mothers in open adoptions these questions. Here are their answers.
Ask AF: A Difficult Reality
We used to have a good relationship with our son’s birth mother, but haven’t heard from her since he was two. He’s now nine. I recently searched for her online, and learned that she’s in jail.
Ask AF: Sharing Details We Found Online
“After my daughter’s birth family stopped corresponding, I looked them up online. Is it unethical to share this information with her, since I obtained it without their consent?”
Ask AF: Birth Mother Confusion
“My daughter says things that make me a little insecure, like, ‘I love you as much as I love my birth mother,’ or “My birth mother is my real mom.’ How should I respond?
Ask AF: Opening Contact
“We recently learned that our son’s birth mother is having health problems. How do we tell him, and how can we ask for more contact?’
Ask AF: Birth Mother’s Day
Answers to your parenting questions.
Ask AF: Two Moms, Two Roles
“Our daughter’s birth mother recently signed a card ‘from Mommy.’ It bothered me. Am I overreacting?”
Ask AF: Reluctant About Birth Parent Contact
How to create safe contact with birth parents who have a history of drug use.
Ask AF: Referring to the Birth Mother
Answers to your parenting questions.
Ask AF: Step-Adoption and the Birth Family
Answers to your parenting questions.
Deciding to Adopt: What About Birth Families?
“We cannot build healthy relationships with our children on secrecy and lies—and this includes lies of omission.”
“An Open Letter to Gramma B.”
You asked questions, but didn’t pry. You had brought gifts for your granddaughter, and I noticed that they were all things you had lovingly made or thought about carefully. The hour passed quickly and we said we’d be in touch.
Ask AF: Openness in Foster Adoption
Answers to your parenting questions.
Ask AF: Navigating Disagreements with the Birth Family
Answers to your parenting questions.
Families Share: Our Open Adoption Experience
“The best part about being a birth mother in an open adoption is that I am at peace. Colin and I are still a part of each other’s lives, yet he is so happy and deeply rooted in his family that sometimes I forget that he’s not their flesh and blood. Knowing he has the life I wanted for him allows me to move forward in mine.” —Jen
The Basics of Open Adoption
What is “open adoption” — and what might it mean for your family?
“What No One Told Me”
When we first met our child’s birth mother, we didn’t know what to talk about and what not to talk about, what might upset her or what she may or may not want to know about her child’s future with us.