“My nine-year-old has been asking me about her birth mother. I was able to find her on social media, but I’m worried about sharing the photos I found.”
Ask AF: Sharing Difficult Details with a Seven-Year-Old
A mother seeks advice on sharing difficult birth family details with her daughter, and how this might affect their open adoption relationship.
Ask AF: How to Tell My Son That I Can’t Adopt His Biological Sister?
An adoptive mother explores adopting her son’s biological sister, but realizes she wouldn’t be able to meet the child’s medical needs. She seeks advice on how to tell her son.
The Talk: Revealing the Realities of Racism to My African-American Child
Growing up in Trinidad, I didn’t use the word black to describe myself. But as the mother of two black children in the U.S., I walk the fine line of raising them to believe they are capable and worthy while understanding that everyone in this country has been taught to discount their value.
Ask AF: How to Explain to My Child That His Birth Mother Was Addicted to Drugs?
My child’s birth mother has a drug addiction. How should I explain this to him? How can I do so without sounding judgmental about his birth mother?
Ask AF: How to Ask My Children About Trauma in Their Past?
“I know that my children’s birth siblings were abused by their birth parents, but my children don’t talk about trauma in their earlier lives. How should I talk with them about this?”
Ask AF: How to Share Sad News About a Birth Parent?
“When my daughter was in her teens, we sent a letter to her birth mother via our adoption agency, but never heard back. Yesterday, I got a social media message from her birth mother’s sister, which shared sad news. How do I break this news to my daughter?”
“One of the Missing Pieces”
When older children argue and act out, it’s often connected to events from their past. How could any child move through 14 foster placements unscathed? But last night, another clash, followed by a heart-to-heart, brought us one piece closer to feeling like a solid family.
Ask AF: Explaining to Our Child That We Can’t Adopt Her Foster Sister
“We just found out that we won’t be able to adopt the child we’ve been fostering. How do we tell the child, and explain to our older daughter?”
When Parents Divorce
The breakup of a family can be especially hard for adopted teens. Here’s why.
Ask AF: Sharing Painful Birth Parent News with My Child
“I just discovered that my daughter’s birth mother died. My daughter is a preteen and rarely asks about her birth parents. Should I tell her this now, or wait? And, if so, how do I bring it up?”
Adoption at the Movies
Films with adoption or foster care storylines, or with themes of separation, identity, or belonging, can spark tough, must-have conversations with your children. Ready to start watching—and talking? Start with one of these recommendations.
8 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal with Violence
When children are exposed to violence—in their first home, at school, or in the media—it’s our job as parents to help them process it. Here’s how.
Dealing with Loss of a Grandparent
Often, the loss of a grandparent will be your child’s first experience with death. If a child is close to her grandparent, the loss will be that much harder.
Ask AF: Explaining Very Difficult Details
“How do we disclose a lifelong medical condition to our child, and talk with her about lacking any information about her birth parents?”
Sharing Difficult Details with Your Child
Experts offer talking tips and sample language for discussing neglect, abuse, abandonment, and other painful parts of your child’s adoption story.
“Googling Her Birth Parents”
Would it really be possible to fill out my daughter’s hazy memories by typing names into a search engine?
Explaining a Birth Parent’s Drug or Alcohol Abuse
“How can we explain birth family’s drinking or drug use?” Older child adoption expert Gregory Keck, Ph.D. answers a reader’s question.
Answering Tough Questions
As your teen’s thinking becomes more sophisticated, she’ll want to know more about her adoption.
Telling the Tough Stuff
Here’s how to tell your child the difficult facts about his adoption in positive, age-appropriate ways…and how to keep the conversation going.