In a private or independent adoption, prospective adoptive parents are advised by an adoption attorney, instead of working with an adoption agency. This form of adoption is specifically authorized by law in all states except Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Massachusetts, and North Dakota. Because adoption is, for the most part, controlled by state law, aspects of independent adoption vary from state to state, and you’ll want to engage an experienced adoption attorney who is knowledgeable about the differing requirements and adoption laws in your state.

In a typical independent adoption, the prospective parents take an active role in identifying a birth mother, usually by networking, advertising, or by using the Internet.

Another difference between independent and agency adoption is the method by which the birth parents give their consent to adoption. In an agency adoption, the birth parents relinquish their parental rights to an agency, and the agency, in turn, consents to an adoption by specific adoptive parents. In independent adoption, the birth parents give their consent directly to the adoptive parents.

The role of the adoption attorney varies by state. In most cases, your lawyer will handle all the legal documents, negotiate payments to the birth mother, and represent you at the adoption court hearing. Some states also let attorneys help you locate and screen birth mothers. While 45 states allow independent adoption, not all of them permit advertising for birth mothers. A good lawyer will make sure the birth father’s rights are addressed and that you get a homestudy that complies with state requirements. If the adoptive parents and birth parents live in different states, your lawyer should understand the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children, a uniform law that sets procedures for the transfer of children from one state to another. Finally, a good lawyer will put your interests first. Some states require birth parents to have separate counsel, but even if your state does not, you should have a legal representative who works for you alone. This is also ethical legal practice.

The Benefits

In this country at least as many newborns are placed each year through independent adoption as through agency adoption. While it is difficult to say why birth parents might prefer independent adoption, they do report some reasons consistently, including: a perception that agencies are bureaucratic; a desire to play an active role in selection of the adoptive parents; and a desire for the child to go directly into the physical custody of the adoptive parents rather than into temporary foster care.

From the adoptive parents’ perspective, the advantages of independent adoption extend beyond the ability to play an active role in the selection of specific parents. Other benefits include the possibility of avoiding the long waiting periods that may occur with agency adoptions and the ability to adopt even without meeting the sometimes arbitrary standards that may be imposed by agencies.

The “openness” that is characteristic of independent adoption may offer psychological benefits to the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and adopted children. In some states that permit independent adoption, birth- and adoptive parents must have one or more face-to-face meetings.

How it Works

All of the services that are traditionally provided to the parties in an agency adoption can also be provided in an independent adoption. For example, medical and social histories are obtained not only by the adoptive parents themselves, but also by the attorney representing the birth parents. The histories are then preserved by the adoptive parents and their attorney. Psychological counseling is also available to the birth and adoptive parents and is generally recommended by the attorneys handling independent adoptions. Homestudies are required in all states. Your attorney can refer you to qualified homestudy providers and counselors experienced in adoption issues.

In independent adoptions, it is common for the adoptive parents to be present at the hospital, even at the time of birth. In addition, the adoptive parents typically can help care for the child in the hospital. It is also common for the child to be discharged from the hospital directly to the physical care of the adoptive parents.

No state allows a birth parent to give a binding consent to an adoption before the birth of the child. In addition, states mandate various minimum waiting periods after the birth before a consent can be signed. States also have varying laws governing whether or not birth parents are permitted to change their minds for a period of time after giving consent. Some states make the consent immediately irrevocable upon signing; others allow birth parents to revoke consent for a short period, such as 15 to 30 days from the date of signing. Find a state-by-state listing of adoption laws.