DNA
Four of our children are our genetic descendants, five are not. But Donny and I have been no less surprised over the years by the personalities, habits, passions, and talents of our “bio” kids than of our adopted kids. The throw of the dice of 3.4 billion DNA base pairs — collected and sifted out of the two hundred thousand years of human evolution — can land as look-alike knockoffs of Mom or Dad, or with strong resemblances to a distant ancestor from Lithuania, or to an even more distant ancestor from the Afar Depression in Ethiopia’s Great Rift Valley. Of course all nine of our children, like all humanity, descended from Great Rift Valley; some just took a more direct flight to Atlanta than others.
Our four oldest kids’ introduction to the shuffling of the chromosomal deck used to be recited like this:
Molly was a finger-sucking, straight-haired cover lover (as a baby and small child, she liked to suck two fingers; in the night she burrowed deep under her blankets). Seth was a non-finger-sucking, curly-haired cover lover.
And that might have been that, if we’d stopped at two. What two very different human beings we had produced!
Then Lee came along: a thumb-sucking, straight-haired cover kicker.
And Lily: a finger-sucking, curly-haired cover kicker.
Genetics 101.
With Jesse’s arrival, we could see that he was a straight-haired cover lover. But had he ever sucked his fingers? It seemed unfair to recite our litany without him, so we let it slide. Then, somewhere down the line, with the addition of more children, we picked up the theme of genetic categories again. They’d multiplied exponentially. And strong resemblances existed in-house — family traits — perhaps the result of what Joe Kayes called “airborne genes.”
The family shorthand now looks like this:
Night owls: Seth (bio), Jesse (Bulgaria), Helen (Ethiopia). Up at dawn (former goatherds): Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia).
Shiny hair blows in the wind: Molly (bio), Lily (bio), Helen (Ethiopia). Brillo-like hair remains unmoved by wind, water, hail, or ice: Seth (bio), Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia). Twiddles own hair while reading a book: Molly (bio), Seth (bio), Sol (Ethiopia).
Allergic to cats: Seth (bio), Lee (bio), Daniel (Ethiopia), Jesse (Bulgaria). Horseback riders: Molly (bio), Daniel (Ethiopia). Trombonists and attempted trombonists: Seth (bio), Lily (bio), Jesse (Bulgaria). Trumpet: Sol (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia). Double bass: Molly (bio). Flute: Helen (Ethiopia). Dancers: Lily (bio), Jesse (Bulgaria), Helen (Ethiopia). Beatboxer: Jesse (Bulgaria). Composer: Seth (bio).
First to leave the house for an outing, ready to roll: Lee (bio), Yosef “I-Was-Born-Ready” (Ethiopia).
Even with a two-hour warning that he has soccer practice this afternoon, will be jogging around the house looking for his shin guards while everyone waits in the idling car in the driveway: Daniel (Ethiopia, biological brother of Born-Ready Yosef).
Amharic speakers: Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia), Lee (bio). Reads Hebrew: Molly (bio), Seth (bio), Lee (bio), Lily (bio), Helen (Ethiopia). Hebrew speaker: Lee (bio). Reads Ancient Greek: Molly (bio). Can kind of sing the French national anthem in French: Seth (bio), Lily (bio), Helen (Ethiopia).
Cannot swallow a pill, ever, in any circumstance: Seth (bio).
Appears downstairs seeming a little wobbly and announces, “I think I may have eaten too many baby Tylenols”: Seth (bio).
Soon after arrival, spotted walking across the front yard on his hands: Jesse (Bulgaria).
Loves to cook: Molly (bio), Sol (Ethiopia), Helen (Ethiopia). Adds blueberries to scrambled eggs: Sol (Ethiopia).
Enjoys a plate of raw meat in Ethiopia: Lee (bio), Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia), Jesse (Bulgaria), Helen (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia).
Gets a tapeworm from eating raw meat in Ethiopia: Lee (bio).
Stylish dressers: Molly (bio), Lee (bio), Lily (bio), Jesse (Bulgaria), Helen (Ethiopia).
“Let’s play Risk!”: Molly (bio), Lee (bio), Lily (bio), Sol (Ethiopia), Helen (Ethiopia). Most likely to win Risk: Molly (bio). “Let’s play Scrabble!”: Molly (bio), Seth (bio), Lily (bio), Helen (Ethiopia). Most likely to win Scrabble: Seth (bio), Helen (Ethiopia). “Let’s play Monopoly!”: Molly (bio), Lee (bio), Lily (bio), Sol (Ethiopia), Helen (Ethiopia). Most likely to be tricked by smiling brothers entering her bedroom with Monopoly, offering to play when, in fact, they have trapped a flying cockroach under the lid to make her scream: Lily (bio).
Overturns upholstered living-room chairs for use as soccer goals: Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia).
Broken lamps, to date: two. Broken picture frames: two.
Elementary school president: Lee (bio), Lily (bio), Helen (Ethiopia).
First-place winner in science fair or social studies fair: Molly (bio), Seth (bio), Lee (bio), Helen (Ethiopia).
If entering a footrace, will win: Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia), Helen (Ethiopia). Bikers: Molly (bio), Seth (bio), Jesse (Bulgaria). When shooting 100 basketball free throws in a row, will sink 87: Jesse (Bulgaria). Bowling team members: Seth (bio), Lily (bio).
Attended Oberlin College or Oberlin Conservatory of Music: Molly, OC ’04 (bio), Seth, OCM ’07 (bio), Lee, OC ’07–’08 (bio), Lily, OC ’10–’14 (bio).
Protested, “I don’t want to go to a school that has to take me! I want to go to a school that really wants me! Can I do a ‘legacy-blind’ application?”: Lily (bio).
Accepted at other schools, chose Oberlin anyway: Lily (bio).
Helped carry soccer team to State Cup trophy: Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia). Led basketball team to middle-school championship: Jesse (Bulgaria). Won national gold medal for photography: Lily (bio). Won trophy for Bowling, Most Improved: Seth (bio).
Uncanny sense of direction, in any city on any continent: Sol (Ethiopia).
Zero sense of direction, even if three blocks from home: Seth (bio).
When riding home with friends, once looked out the window and said, “Hey, now this looks familiar!” and his friends shouted, “This is your street!”: Seth (bio). Whenever he holds a compass, the needle points toward his chest rather than toward North, causing him to walk in increasingly small circles: Seth (bio). Can’t buy him an iPhone with a GPS app because the last time he got a new phone he drove straight to the neighborhood pool, happily announced, “I got a new phone!” and leaped into the water to join the family, destroying the new phone instantly: Seth (bio.)
Favorite soccer teams: Manchester United (Daniel, Ethiopia), Barcelona (Sol, Ethiopia), Tottenham (Lee, bio), Arsenal (Yosef, Ethiopia). Favorite basketball team: L.A. Lakers (Jesse, Bulgaria). Favorite baseball team: Atlanta Braves (Lee, bio).
Missed Game Seven of the 1992 National League Championship Series, in which Francisco Cabrera drove in Sid Bream from second base, defeating the Pirates and sending the Braves to the World Series as announcer Skip Carey screamed, “Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!” because he was upstairs reading a biography of Miles Davis: Seth (bio).
Provided details for prior category: Lee (bio).
Runs screaming and averting the eyes from the sight of a dead squirrel on the sidewalk: everyone but Helen (Ethiopia).
Holds up semi-decomposed dead squirrel by the tail and asks in high-pitched squeak of a voice, “May I dissect this?”: Helen (Ethiopia).
Only possible future candidate for medical school: Helen (Ethiopia).
Has professional website: Molly, www.californiasislands.com (bio); Seth, www.sethgsamuel.com (bio).
Has Facebook page: everybody.
Facebook friends with Mom: Molly (bio), Seth (bio), Lee (bio), Lily (bio), Daniel (Ethiopia), Helen (Ethiopia).
Danced together joyously, arms around each other’s necks, faster and faster, closer and closer, in an Israeli circle dance to celebrate Yosef’s bar mitzvah last spring, laughing until they cried, faces streaming with sweat and tears, whirling until the shorter ones were nearly lifted off the ground, their legs flying out beyond the circle: everyone.
Started life in a family: Molly (bio), Seth (bio), Lee (bio), Lily (bio), Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia), Jesse (Bulgaria), Helen (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia).
Through conditions far beyond the child’s control, original family was lost: Sol (Ethiopia), Daniel (Ethiopia), Jesse (Bulgaria), Helen (Ethiopia), Yosef (Ethiopia).
By joining this family, through birth or adoption, family life was regained or enlarged, enlivened, and enriched: all of the above.
Excerpted from No Biking in the House Without a Helmet, by MELISSA FAY GREENE, published in May by Sarah Crichton Books, an imprint of Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC. Copyright © 2011 by Melissa Fay Greene. All rights reserved.
