In On It: A Guide for Relatives and Friends, by Elisabeth O’Toole

“O’Toole is like the close friend who tells you when you’ve got spinach stuck in your teeth, only instead of saving you the embarrassment of a green smile, she gently pulls you aside and guides you on all the important dos and don’ts surrounding adoption. And she does it in such a respectful way that you feel grateful for the education.” —cdub

Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay

“Although not adoption-specific, this book is required reading for all parents who want to raise children to be the kind of people we all want the world to be filled with. It fundamentally changed my view of what ‘success’ means in parenting.” —jamieamstar

Dear Birthmother, by Kathleen Silber and Phyllis Speedlin

“Even though we knew a domestic adoption was the best option for our family, we were scared at the thought of an open adoption. After reading Dear Birthmother, our hearts were softened. We now know we made the best decision and frequently turn back to the book as we navigate our own adoption story.” —08conlan

I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla, by Marguerite A. Wright

“I read this book when we were preparing to adopt transracially and I thought it was phenomenal — so real, so specific, so dummy proof to understand. Even though we ended up adopting a child of the same race, I feel like this book prepared me to be a better parent to teach and raise children.” —suziandben

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child, by Patty Cogen, M.A., Ed.D.

“Cogen’s book has a perfect balance of technical information that can help you understand what’s behind a child’s behavior, practical advice for every stage of development to adulthood, and illustrative anecdotes. I suspect that when my daughter reaches adulthood, this book will be tattered from years of use.” —wasingerl