“We are adopting my sister-in-law’s teenage son after fostering him for five years. What can I say to her at family gatherings, to family who still don’t get that we’ll be his legal parents—and to my son, who hears all of this?”
Ask AF: Sharing Painful Birth Parent News with My Child
“I just discovered that my daughter’s birth mother died. My daughter is a preteen and rarely asks about her birth parents. Should I tell her this now, or wait? And, if so, how do I bring it up?”
Your First Meeting with an Expectant Mother
For prospective adoptive parents hoping to meet an expectant mother, few situations are more anxiety-inducing than their first encounter. Whether you plan to meet in person or over the phone, knowing ahead of time what questions to ask-and not ask-can reduce your anxiety and help you make the most of this opportunity to obtain information.
Writing Your “Dear Expectant Mother” Letter
Keep in mind that your goal is to connect with the right expectant mother for you. Successful adoptions occur when prospective adoptive parents and birth parents make a strong pre-birth connection. So, resist making yourself into something you’re not.
Ask AF: Our First Visit with Our Child’s Birth Parents
A mother is nervous about the upcoming first birth family visit, wondering what it will be like, how to react if she or the birth mother get upset. Parents in open adoptions offer advice.
Ask AF: My Child Said He Loves His Birth Mother More
“My six-year-old has been asking a lot of new questions about adoption and his birth mother. He’s also told us that he loves her more than he loves us. How should we respond?”
“Did You Want to Keep Me?”
Faced with a young daughter’s despair, a mother realizes her child must reconnect with the past.
“Letting Go After Months of Struggling to Parent”
After struggling to parent my twin daughters for ten months, I sadly realized I couldn’t provide them with the stable life I’d envisioned.
“Dear Other Mothers…Thank You”
My greatest joy, becoming a mother, happened because both of my children lost the one person no child should have to lose.
What’s on Their Minds?
As grade-school kids learn more about adoption, they begin to ask more questions. How do you respond?
10 Ways to Build Trust with Prospective Birth Parents
10 ways to show respect and build trust.
Bringing Birth Siblings Into Our Children’s Stories—and Lives
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
Ask AF: Should We Adopt Our Child’s Birth Siblings?
A mother of three seeks advice on adopting her child’s birth siblings. She worries that her child will feel hurt if they don’t, but also that they won’t have the energy or resources to parent more children.
“More Love Is More Love”
In many families, relationships come without exact names. While adoption highlighted this truth, it was already a given in my family—and maybe in yours, too?
News Brief: Study Finds Counseling for Expectant Mothers Lacking
Expectant mothers considering adoption don’t receive adequate options counseling, finds a new Donaldson Adoption Institute study that surveyed 223 birth mothers.
Ask AF: Child Wishes She Had an Open Adoption
“My daughter, who was adopted internationally, has been saying she wishes she got to see her birth mother, like her close friend who has a very open adoption. What can I say to her?”
“Family Is Now”
What if my daughter doesn’t choose me? What if she grows up and moves to live near her other mom—her birth mom? I think about that and I get scared. Then I think, so what if she does? I can’t worry about that; I can only parent now.
Book Excerpt: The English American
Born in America, raised in England, and meeting her birth mother for the first time.
The Birth Parent Perspective: Stats and Chart
A study, the Early Growth and Development Study, is shedding light on open adoption attitudes and outcomes. Here are some basic findings, as well as AF poll results on families’ open adoption experiences.
“Finding My Place in the Family”
Though society doesn’t know what to do with birth mothers, I knew I had a place with my son’s parents. At his second birthday party, I learned that I had a place with their family, too.