“At what age should we start letting our daughter take the lead in birth parent contact? I know that my daughter will be able to call her birth mom freely when she gets her own cellphone, so how do we step back responsibly?”
Parents Share: “Our Open Adoption Over the Years”
Adoptive moms and dads share how their open adoptions have changed over time — whether they became more or less open, and why.
“‘Trashy’ Parents?”
At a recent gathering, an acquaintance made a comment based on the astonishingly misguided and downright vulgar assumption that my child’s birth parents are unworthy or subpar. Here’s how I responded.
Lessons I’ve Learned from My Children
Over decades as a foster and adoptive parent and an adoption social worker, I have mothered and supported hundreds of children. Each one has taught me more than I passed along to them. Here is just some of that wisdom.
Ask AF: Will Our Son See His Birth Mother with Her New Baby and Wonder, Why Not Him?
“Our son’s birth mother is now married and parenting a newborn. How should I answer if he asks why they couldn’t raise him?”
“Seeing the Bigger Picture in Adoption”
I used to see adoption from only one viewpoint—that of the adoptive parents. But working in the field before becoming an adoptive mother opened my eyes to how complex and bittersweet adoption can be.
Parent-to-Parent: Post-Adoption Contact Agreements
Parents in open adoptions share whether they have a post-adoption contact agreement with their child’s birth parents and, if so, what it includes.
Share Your Story: Naming Adoptive Children
In “Naming Madison”, Dawn Friedman argued in favor of keeping her daughter’s birth name. We asked our readers: Should adoptive parents choose their child’s name?
What’s on Their Minds?
As grade-school kids learn more about adoption, they begin to ask more questions. How do you respond?
The Birth Parent Perspective: Stats and Chart
A study, the Early Growth and Development Study, is shedding light on open adoption attitudes and outcomes. Here are some basic findings, as well as AF poll results on families’ open adoption experiences.
New Brief: Chinese Birth Parent Search Manual to Be Released
Two adult adoptees are working on the first edition of a Chinese Birth Parent Search Manual, to be released at the end of 2016.
“Googling Her Birth Parents”
Would it really be possible to fill out my daughter’s hazy memories by typing names into a search engine?
Letting Her Go: Chinese Birth Parent Search and Reunions
The first study on this topic provides fascinating insights about adoptees’ and parents’ motivations to search, search methods used, the initial reunion, and ongoing contact.
Ask AF: What to Say in a Letter to Birth Parents
I send letters with pictures to my children’s birth parents via our adoption agencies.
What Should We Include In Our Contact Agreement?
We’ve been selected by a birth mom who is due in two months. Our attorney advised us to draw up a contact agreement prior to the birth. What should we include?
“Loving My Children’s ‘Ingredients'” – Nature vs. Nurture
Parenting children with different DNA opened up new worlds for me. Loving who they are means parenting their DNA and not my own agenda.
[Book Review] The Mystery of the Multiple Mothers
An engaging whodunit with adoption themes.
What If? Imagining Life in a Different Family
Sleepovers and play dates give our kids an intimate glimpse of life in a different family — and may prompt reflections and questions.
Video: Open Adoptee Experiences
In this open adoption video, teen and young adult adoptees who grew up knowing their birth parents share their thoughts and experiences.
Questions About Birth Siblings
Don’t be surprised if your child wants to know about his birth brothers and sisters. Such questions are healthy — and normal.
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