“Would knowing that somewhere, out in the world, she has a biological sister—but one she can’t get in touch with or live with as a sibling—help our child, or be harmful?”
Ask AF: Should I Try to Contact My Children’s Birth Siblings?
A mother who adopted from foster care seeks advice about contacting the adoptive parents of her children’s birth siblings. Fellow adoptive parents weigh in.
Parents Share: Birth Sibling Connections
We asked “Does your child have a birth sibling who lives with another adoptive family?” Parents respond and explain how they keep in touch (or why contact isn’t possible).
Ask AF: Should We Try to Adopt Our Children’s Biological Sibling?
“Our children have a younger sibling in a different foster home. Should we fight to get custody of this child, whom we’re told has a strong bond with her foster parents and foster siblings, or leave things be?”
Brotherly (and Sisterly) Love in Foster Care
When the courts place children in foster care, siblings have only each other to turn to and count on.
Parents Share: “Our Open Adoption Over the Years”
Adoptive moms and dads share how their open adoptions have changed over time — whether they became more or less open, and why.
Ask AF: How to Tell My Son That I Can’t Adopt His Biological Sister?
An adoptive mother explores adopting her son’s biological sister, but realizes she wouldn’t be able to meet the child’s medical needs. She seeks advice on how to tell her son.
Ask AF: When and How to Tell Our Child She Has Birth Siblings?
Our daughter knows she was adopted, but doesn’t know she has younger half-birth-siblings. I worry about telling her, but I also I don’t want her to feel like we were hiding information from her.
Ask AF: How to Ask My Children About Trauma in Their Past?
“I know that my children’s birth siblings were abused by their birth parents, but my children don’t talk about trauma in their earlier lives. How should I talk with them about this?”
“Sister—a Role I Wasn’t Ready to Play”
“My biological brother was adopted as an infant. When he found us, he was eager to claim us as family. But is that really what we were?” A woman shares the story of meeting her birth sibling and offers advice for others contemplating search or faced with a reunion.
Ask AF: Will Our Son See His Birth Mother with Her New Baby and Wonder, Why Not Him?
“Our son’s birth mother is now married and parenting a newborn. How should I answer if he asks why they couldn’t raise him?”
The Paternity Test, Part 1: “I Hope It’s Them”
When our daughter was born, her birth mom listed the birth father as “unknown.” Ten years later, he found us on social media and reached out.
Ask AF: Explaining to a Child That His Sibling Will Be Adopted By Another Family
An expectant mother who’s making an open adoption plan wonders how to explain to her child that his baby sibling will be adopted by another family. A birth mother offers advice.
Parent-to-Parent: Holiday Gifts for Your Child’s Birth Family
We asked our readers: If you’ll be giving your child’s birth parents a gift this holiday season, what is it and how will you give it to them? Read the answers from adoptive parents.
Ask AF: How to Encourage a New-Sibling Bond?
“We adopted our 10-year-old daughter as an infant, and adopted her seven- and eight-year-old biological sisters last month. How can we help all three girls bond with each other?”
Bringing Birth Siblings Into Our Children’s Stories—and Lives
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
“Where We All Belong”
When I was a teen, my parents decided to grow our family by adopting from foster care. How did it feel to suddenly gain four new brothers and sisters through adoption?
Ask AF: Should We Adopt Our Child’s Birth Siblings?
A mother of three seeks advice on adopting her child’s birth siblings. She worries that her child will feel hurt if they don’t, but also that they won’t have the energy or resources to parent more children.
Ask AF: Disagreeing About Discipline with the Birth Family
A parent in an open adoption asks what do do (and how to explain to her son) when his birth family uses different discipline approaches for his birth sibling. Adoption expert Regina M. Kupecky, LSW, offers advice.
“For the Love of My Child”
When Elizabeth was young, closed adoption was comfortable. But my outlook changed the day my teenage daughter said, “I want to find them.”