“At what age should we start letting our daughter take the lead in birth parent contact? I know that my daughter will be able to call her birth mom freely when she gets her own cellphone, so how do we step back responsibly?”
Parents Share: The “Match Meeting” with an Expectant Mother
“Be yourself” and more real-life advice for the “match meeting” with an expectant mother.
Parents Share: “Our Open Adoption Over the Years”
Adoptive moms and dads share how their open adoptions have changed over time — whether they became more or less open, and why.
“‘Trashy’ Parents?”
At a recent gathering, an acquaintance made a comment based on the astonishingly misguided and downright vulgar assumption that my child’s birth parents are unworthy or subpar. Here’s how I responded.
“Meeting Jennifer” – Opening a Foster Adoption
After adopting my children from foster care, we eased into contact with their birth mother. She and I—a conservative, suburban mom—couldn’t be more different, and I’m glad that’s the case. The kids have a special relationship with her that they can’t have with me.
The Four Agreements in Open Adoption
Lois Melina offers personal reflections on making relationships between birth parents and adoptive families healthier—for the sake of our children, using the principles of The Four Agreements.
Ask AF: Will Our Son See His Birth Mother with Her New Baby and Wonder, Why Not Him?
“Our son’s birth mother is now married and parenting a newborn. How should I answer if he asks why they couldn’t raise him?”
Ask AF: Explaining to a Child That His Sibling Will Be Adopted By Another Family
An expectant mother who’s making an open adoption plan wonders how to explain to her child that his baby sibling will be adopted by another family. A birth mother offers advice.
Ask AF: “We Don’t Hear Back from My Child’s Birth Mother…”
“In the beginning, my son’s birth mother seemed to want a lot of contact. I send photos or updates about once a week. She hasn’t seen him in a year, however, and her family hasn’t seen him since birth. Should I back off?”
“Take It from Us!”: Open Adoption
Real-life advice from the Adoptive Families community on understanding openness, navigating visits and contact, explaining birth siblings, and more.
Letting Teens Take the Reins
As teen’s desire more control over their lives, they want to be the decision-makers in determining contact with birth family.
Ask AF: Our First Visit with Our Child’s Birth Parents
A mother is nervous about the upcoming first birth family visit, wondering what it will be like, how to react if she or the birth mother get upset. Parents in open adoptions offer advice.
Parent-to-Parent: Post-Adoption Contact Agreements
Parents in open adoptions share whether they have a post-adoption contact agreement with their child’s birth parents and, if so, what it includes.
Bringing Birth Siblings Into Our Children’s Stories—and Lives
The vast majority of our children have birth siblings, yet parents may wonder how to approach the topic. Adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees share how they talk about biological siblings, and build brother-sister bonds.
The Birth Parent Perspective: Stats and Chart
A study, the Early Growth and Development Study, is shedding light on open adoption attitudes and outcomes. Here are some basic findings, as well as AF poll results on families’ open adoption experiences.
“Finding My Place in the Family”
Though society doesn’t know what to do with birth mothers, I knew I had a place with my son’s parents. At his second birthday party, I learned that I had a place with their family, too.
Parenting with an Open Heart
Whether you see your child’s birth parents frequently or have never had contact, you can still imbue your adoption and your relationship with your child with openness.
Readers Share: Do You Have Mementos From Birth Family?
If so, when and how did you decide to share it with your child? If not, how have you handled discussions about the birth family?
News Brief: LGBT Parents Very Open to Openness
A new study by The Donaldson Adoption Institute found that LGBT families are highly motivated to maintain openness and birth family contact.
What to Share in the Holiday Letter to Birth Family
It’s normal to think about your child’s birth family during the holidays. What should you share in a holiday letter?