During the long wait for an adoption match, friends and family may be sympathetic, but they don’t understand the anxiety that leads you to question every aspect of your adoption profile — and yourself.
“No Longer Hoping for a Miracle Pregnancy”
An imminent hysterectomy is helping me realize that I no longer want to become pregnant — I only want to be the best mother I can be to my children, who came to me through adoption.
“Cornrows Fit for a Ballerina!”
A simple hairstyle was not so simple for a dance class full of little girls with beautiful heads of black hair.
“From Our Hearts”: Letters to Our Child’s Birth Parents
Writing about the little things in letters to our daughter’s birth parents often tells a bigger, warmer story in the end.
“Our Agonizing Decision to Decline a Referral”
We thought accepting a referral would be the easy part. It wasn’t.
“Was I Alone in the Hospital?”
Seeing where she was born—where she stayed with her birth mom and where we met her—gave my daughter greater confidence in her adoption story.
“How I Finally Got Into Club Mom”
The cruelest parts of infertility? Having to attend baby showers, coo over ultrasound pictures, and being told it’s “God’s will” that you’re still childless.
“Real-World Lessons”: Adopting a Teenager from Foster Care
We adopted a teenager from foster care as veteran parents and thought we were prepared for what lay ahead—but our new son still taught us a thing or two.
“Raising California”
Families are forming in all sorts of ways, in a rainbow of colors, and my son through adoption is growing up right in the middle of all of it.
“On Becoming African American”
Raised in a white community, I’ve just begun to embrace my heritage.
“True Love, Times Two”
I used to wonder whether my love for my son would be more intense if I’d given birth to him. Having a biological child validated the depth of my feelings the first time around.
“Our Family’s Unique Kwanzukkah Celebration”
The story of how one transracial family reinvented their holiday traditions.
Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda: Surviving the Wait
In hindsight, these veteran adoptive moms would have done some things differently during the wait — but not others.
“Negotiating a Workable Schedule After Adoption”
I assumed I’d be offered the same leave and benefits as moms who give birth. When I wasn’t, here’s how I negotiated with my employer.
“Guarding My Heart During the Wait”
After years of grappling with infertility, I could only focus on what might go wrong during our (in hindsight) perfect match and my daughter’s birth.
“The Second Half of My Life”
I had been a hard-driving reporter and happily single. But now, I was ready for something more.
“How Jesse Learned to Play”
There was no time for fun in the orphanage. But at home in America, four-year-old Jesse discovered water balloons, trampolines — and his inner Hercules.
“She’s Leaving Home”
My daughter, whom I swear I just brought home yesterday, is gracefully settling into college.
“More Than Skin Deep”
My attachment is so fierce, it takes my breath away.
Announcing Your Decision to Adopt
A letter can deliver the news to loved ones in efficiently and affectionately. The key is to communicate how thrilled you are about adopting.