This year, we’ve vowed to cut back at Christmas. Well, perhaps it wasn’t a vow, but at least a serious intent to try. Then again, they are children for such a short time.
“A Visit to My Daughter’s Homeland”
Our trip to her birth country gave my daughter a picture of her early life. She discovered that she was, and had always been, real.
“The Adoption Advantage”
Coming to parenthood on equal terms lets my husband and me appreciate the experience all the more.
Becoming My Own Beauty Role Model
“Growing up, makeup felt like a mask—a cover-up for my true inner self.”
“Three Real Families”
When my granddaughter asked me if I was the “real” mother of her mom, whom I adopted as an infant, I found a way to help her explore her many real connections, through biology, law, and love.
“Parenting After Foster Adoption—Like Playing Jenga, Backward”
As a father who raised a child from birth and is now parenting older children adopted from foster care, I’ve come to see that the game and pieces may, indeed, be the same, but you have to play in an entirely different way.
“My Journey Through the Stages of Adoption”
Much like the trimesters of pregnancy, I moved through phases of worry, disbelief, and pure joy while I waited to adopt.
“How I Parent My Transracial Family”
Like all mixed race families in America, we face stereotyping as a matter of course. These six lessions have helped enrich my family.
“Amanda’s Journey Home to Her Birth Country”
“You belong to two heritages-Jewish and Latin American-and at this special time in your life, when many Jewish families travel to the Mideast, we’re heading south.” More than a few heads turned when I announced this in my speech to my thirteen-year-old daughter, Amanda, on the occasion of her bat mitzvah.
“Keeping Up Appearances” – Our Skin and 4C Hair Care Routine
As the parents of four black children, we drop a small fortune on lotion and products and build time into our schedule to style their hair, all the while questioning whether we know what we’re doing. A recent conversation offered some much-needed reassurance.
“Waiting on a Dream”
Matched out of the blue with an expectant mother, we were told the next call might come within days. But as the wait stretched to weeks and then months, I despaired—would our dreams ever come true?
Raising a Racially Ambiguous Child
We asked our reader panel: Have you ever been asked to explain your child’s ethnic identity? How do you respond?
Motherhood? Me? You’ve Got to Be Kidding!
Having children was something that other people did. But giving birth has given me a sense of connection I never felt before.
“Looking for Answers in Guatemala”
When it came to locating our daughter’s birth mother in Guatemala, we didn’t know where to begin. But we knew that we had to try.
“Can Black Children Wear Watermelons?”
Many symbols commonly found on children’s clothing connote racist stereotypes of black people. Knowing this, should transracial adoptive parents still dress their black children in onesies and shirts featuring monkeys, zebras, and watermelons?
“Caught on Camera: Our Surprise Adoption Match”
Have you ever been at a baby shower where they play a home video of the mother-to-be surprising her partner with news of her pregnancy? As we grappled with infertility, my wife and I hated those videos, even as we desperately hoped for one of our own.
“Our Summer Vacation House Swap”
One summer, we traded our Hawaiian home for Berkeley, CA so our son could learn about more ethnic differences and similarities.
“Memory Givers”
As parents, we shape the memories our children will carry through their lives. What a delightful, and intimidating, prospect!
“How We Created My Son’s Unique Family Tree”
The family tree project can be a particularly tricky one for kids who are adopted. Here’s how one family tackled the assignment.
“5 Things I Wish My White Parents Knew”
Transracial adoptees often grow up knowing that their families love them, but not truly feeling included or close to them. Here’s what would have helped in raising a black child in a white family and a racist world.